Not So Frequent Flyer

AshleyLeave a comment

For those of you who follow my Instagram account, @mrsbennigson, you already know that Gia and I took off for a weekend adventure.

For the last few weeks I’ve been wanting to head to Newport Beach to visit my brother. We don’t get to see him all the time and in turn, he doesn’t get to see Gia on the regular. We do what we can with technology and FaceTime, but the real deal is always our first choice.

Initially this trip was just going to be my mom coming down to visit Zach – I always have her for Mother’s Day, so Zach was long over due to have some mom time with her. I thought this would also be a good chance to visit Zach with Gia before baby #2 gets here, because Lord knows that we won’t be hopping on a plane with a toddler and newborn right away.

First of all, my hat is off to parents who regularly travel by air with their little ones. Flying can be stressful with or without kids – delays and being surrounded by loads of people means we aren’t really in full control.

Now, I know a flight from Oakland to Orange County is nothing compared to a transcontinental or international flight, but we had to start somewhere! Thankfully our flight was just over an hour and I armed myself to the teeth to make sure Gia and I would be prepared.

I have to say, we had it pretty easy when it came to luggage and necessities. My mom opted to drive down a day ahead of us because that’s just how it worked out. Luckily enough, I sent the stroller, car seat and our luggage with her. Yes to semi-free hands in the airport! All I needed to concern myself with was the little umbrella stroller and backpack with extra undies, snacks and books for Gia.

I think my biggest worry was the whole potty situation and not being able to get up on the plane during takeoff and landing. Fortunately, Gia was awesome about using the potty exactly when I needed her to.

I tried to think ahead and reserved our seat close to the lavatory. (My pregnant brain/mom brain didn’t fail me with that idea!) Once we boarded the plane Gia just hung on to me so she could snuggle, which is a rarity these days. Right after takeoff she dozed off and later woke before our decent. I offered her some crackers and we took a potty break before getting ready to land. Success!

Once we deplaned we were promptly greeted by my mom, or Gagi (gah-ghee), as Gia likes to call her. Needless to say, I was so proud of Gia while she was at the airport and on the plane. I think she must have been proud of herself too.

Anytime we try something new and unfamiliar it has the potential to be a little nerve wracking. I knew we would ultimately do fine on our first flight (and without daddy), but we all want things to go smoothly, especially with tots in tow.

As I’ve said on my blog many times before, just go for it. Don’t let your nerves or fears stop you from anything! Take the flight, apply for that dream job, go on the date, follow your curiosity wherever it takes you. Once you do it you’ll be glad you did, and you’ll wonder what your hang up was in the first place.

Maybe I’m a little preemptive in this post, as my flight home isn’t until Monday, but in the spirit of positivity, I’m sure we will do just fine on the way home too. I realize not all flying experiences go as planned, so I’m sure I’ll have more travel stories to share in the future – good and bad!

Happy travels and wishing all of the moms out there a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend!

Xo

Raising Strong, Confident Daughters

Ashley3 Comments

One thing I’ve already begun to realize over the last year and a half, or so, is that bringing up daughters is complicated: Messages of empowerment and achievement are everywhere, yet depression and anxiety plague so many.

I know these things because I am still a daughter even though I’m now also a mother. I know these things because I never want Gialina and her sister to go through the hard things that I went through. I want to raise my girls to be their best, well-rounded selves despite so many negative outside influences in our world.

During a routine morning not long ago, I was looking in our downstairs mirror. I lifted my shirt to look at my stomach – I’d recently found out I was pregnant with Gia’s sister. I was checking for any signs of a growing baby in my stomach and caught myself feeling a little bit upset. I was upset because I selfishly thought about how hard it will be to watch my body grow through another pregnancy. Although the creation of life is truly an amazing miracle, it can really do a number on a woman’s mindset and body confidence. In my case, I suffered from an eating disorder during my early twenties and although I am healthy today, the negative voices are still there and will always need to be tamped down.

After checking myself out for a quick moment I realized that my daughter Gia had been watching my every move, as she always does. To my surprise and slight horror, she walked over to where I was standing and proceeded to lift her shirt to show her tummy. She clearly was just mimicking mommy, but this instance just goes to show you that your children are always watching, listening and learning from you.

I love having a daughter and I am thrilled to be a girl-mom once again, but nothing annoys me more than when someone says, “Oooh, two girls! You sure are in for it!”

I feel like I was born to parent girls because of the challenges I overcame that tend to overwhelmingly affect women. God gave me not only one, but two girls so that I could teach them to love themselves as much as I should have been loving myself through my eating disorder. I’m excited to be raising two strong little girls, but even this early on it can feel like walking a tightrope.

Part of me is so excited for their future. There are so many female role models out there for them to aspire to be like. Unfortunately, there are also things like stress, anxiety and depression that come with high achievement. When my girls grow up and are doing everything possible to be all that they can, I want them to enjoy it. Like any parent, I want my girls to have boundless opportunity, but more than that, I want them to be happy. The bigger part of that is making sure they are ready for whatever challenges they will someday face.

Know the impact you will have on your child – celebrate their uniqueness, praise their imperfections and instill social confidence.

I know that I will always try to raise strong, confident daughters, but I also realize that they will be who they will be. I can’t make my daughters be something they weren’t meant to be. I just hope and pray that I continue to be the best parent that I can be through their challenging teen years and young adult lives.

Looking at Gia sitting beside me right now also makes me relish the simplicity of toddlerhood. She is completely unfiltered and totally herself in this moment. In a couple of years she will be more aware of the opinions of others, but I hope she holds on to her own opinions while remaining kind, strong-willed and unique.

Xo

Reading – The Discount Ticket To Everywhere

AshleyLeave a comment

Ever since I was a young girl I’ve always had a love for books and reading.  I’m not too biased when it comes to genres, but I’ve noticed that I tend to stay away from things that lean towards sci-fi and fantasy.  Not to say that there aren’t plenty of good books in those categories, I just don’t gravitate towards them.

Lately I’ve been binge reading when I can – nap time and when Gia is asleep for the night.  I’ve realized that come October, my life will look very different and it probably won’t include reading for leisure for a very long time.  With a toddler and a baby on the way I might not read for fun until they fly the coop!  Well, that’s probably a bit of an exaggeration, but I certainly won’t have much “me” time, which I’m a-okay with.  Until this baby girl arrives, I’ll be reading as much as I can when my time allows it.

I’m always on the lookout for new books and I’m a huge fan of reading actual books – no Kindle or iPad here.  I’ve done the whole “read on your iPad thing,” and it’s not quite the same.  I like the idea of picking up my book, dog-earing the page (if you’re type A like me you use a book mark and avoid the dog-ear at all costs), then storing the book on a shelf where you can build up your library.  I’ve got a few books that I’ve recently finished and really, really enjoyed, so I figured why not share them?

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Disclaimer:  These books are mostly phycological thriller types with some sort of crime fighting.  (I think I’m going through a major phase!)

The first book that I’ll recommend is an unbelievable true story of the man who built a billion-dollar online drug empire from his bedroom – and almost got away with it.  It’s called, “American Kingpin,” by Nick Bolton.

My dad was the one who said I should pick it up.  He hasn’t read it himself, but he saw a few book reviews in the newspaper months back and saved it for me.  My dad does old school things like read the entire paper every single morning, and he saves good articles for me or cuts out funny little comics to make me laugh.  I think it’s really sweet.

Anyway, back to the book.  It’s about this twenty-something guy who is super libertarian and is a programmer.  He is a really brilliant young man who basically launched the ultimate free market:  the Silk Road.  This website was located on the dark web and people who used it could trade anything – drugs, hacking software, forged passports, counterfeit cash, poisons, EVERYTHING.  All of this was being done free of the govenment’s watchful eye.

As the site begins to grow, Ross, the creator, quickly has a huge enterprise on his hands and becomes this big kingpin.  There’s tons of twists and turns, lucky breaks and crazy close calls.  To sum it up, it’s the story of the boy next door’s ambition gone criminal.  If Hollywood doesn’t make a movie out of this I’ll be truly disappointed!

The second book I want to recommend is one that I just finished yesterday.  Kind of like with “American Kingpin,” this book really would make for a great movie – “UNSUB,” by Meg Gardiner.  What I enjoyed a lot about this book was that it was set in the Bay Area, so it was fun to recognize all of the landmarks and places they referenced as the story progressed.

This book seemed like it could have been inspired by the Zodiac Killer.  It’s about this young, female detective who is totally determined to catch a serial murderer who ruined her family life as a kid and terrorized the entire Bay Area for years and years.

The main character, Caitlin, is a new detective whose father is a retired detective.  Her now retired father was hunting for the same serial killer she is now trying to apprehend.  This killer committed weirdly ritualized murders when Caitlin’s father was a detective.  Twenty years after the first killings, the murderer resurfaces and starts tormenting Caitlin and the entire Bay Area yet again.

The book is filled with lots of twisted messages from the serial killer, but Caitlin is relentless in her pursuit and becomes dangerously obsessed, like her father once was.

There’s lots of the unexpected throughout this story and it ends making you think there could be a sequel.  I’m definitely keeping my fingers crossed for a follow-up novel!

I don’t know about all of you, but when I finish a book I already have the next one lined up.  My next read falls into the same crime/thriller category and is part of a series that Craig got me started on – “Violets Are Blue,” by James Patterson.  Maybe I’ll share another little book review in the near future after I’ve read this and a few more books that are on deck.

After I finish this James Patterson book I’m going to change up my routine by reading a self-help style book called, “Judgment Detox,” by Gabrielle Bernstein.  After all, we can all be a little kinder to ourselves, even if it means reading a book like this one.

xo

Career & Family

Ashley6 Comments

I’ve had quite the wide variety of jobs throughout my short life, all of which have taught me a lot about who I am and who I want to become.

In college I studied broadcast journalism with a dream of becoming a news anchor or sports anchor.  After graduating, I quickly realized just how important being close to my family was and put my dream of reporting the news on the back-burner.  Many, many times, if you want to break into broadcasting you will have to move to the middle of nowhere to get your start with a small news station.  Now, this isn’t always the case, after all, it’s all about who you know.  I’ve always been willing to start at the bottom like everyone else, for the opportunity to climb the totem pole, but the thought of leaving my family behind for an indefinite amount of time killed me.  Then there’s also the likelihood of still being far away once I potentially did settle into a larger news station in a bigger city.  Yep, I made the right choice for myself, but I do have days where I wonder – “what could have been?”

My first job out of college was with a local police department, as a Community Services Officer.  Sounds official and I even looked pretty official, having to wear a civilianized police uniform to work everyday.  I really enjoyed that job, as I got to work with the people in the community almost everyday.  To sum it up, one of my main responsibilities was running the Neighborhood Watch for the entire city.  This meant holding educational meetings at homes of community members where the neighbors would come and ask questions about general crime prevention.  Surprisingly to some, it was a lot of fun!

After working that job for about six months or so, I knew I wanted something more – more hours and more money.  The job at the police department was only part time, so I took to the internet and started to see what else was out there, even though I didn’t really know what I was looking to do.  (I’m one of those people who loves so many different things that I could see myself having many different jobs or career paths.)

I remember randomly applying for a brand new little airline named Virgin America.  I truly did apply on a whim believing that I would never hear back from them.  Not only that, but did I really want to fly all the time?  Within a few days of applying as an “In-Flight Team Member,” a.k.a. flight attendant, I was starting the interview process and eventually went on to a stressful four week training before getting my wings.  People have no idea what kind of training flight attendants go through, but I have to say after having been through it, it is tough and it is very serious.  At the end of the day a flight attendant is there to keep passengers safe, not just to bring you a coke with no ice.

During the three years I worked for Virgin America I traveled, I met wonderful people and was part of something so unique that I don’t think it will ever be replicated.  I know my former colleagues can certainly agree with that.

Banana Republic Uniform Campaign
Inaugural Flight To Palm Springs, CA
Cooling Off

I stopped working for Virgin because I didn’t feel like I was growing anymore.  I did what I could within the company to grow – became an In-Flight Team Leader, was part of the Promotions Team and worked at Virgin HQ in Burlingame, CA.  Eventually the commute to HQ got to me enough and I decided it was time to close that chapter.

Enter police work once again.  Even before my first police job, I had always been curious about police dispatchers.  Many who know me know that I come from a law enforcement family, so as they say, “it runs in the blood.”  I tested for police dispatcher positions and eventually was hired with a local police department.  I’ve never been through such a mentally challenging experience with a job until this one.  It’s hard to explain to people exactly what the job is like if they don’t know police work or have never sat alongside a police dispatcher for a partial shift.  Just like with anything, I can’t expect the general public to know just how taxing a job like that can be.  You talk to people who might be facing the absolute worst moment of their life, or you might be talking to someone wanting to end their life.

I stopped working as a dispatcher about 7 months after starting.  I realized that I didn’t want to feel the way I felt going into work everyday – I felt so much stress and always wondered about the “what if.”  Shortly after making the decision to part ways with dispatching was when Craig was trying to get into the police academy.  I knew then that if we were going to have a life together that I didn’t want to be in the same field that he was, working the same long and hard shifts, and probably not seeing much of each other because of that.

After leaving my job as a dispatcher I felt desperate to find a new job.  This was the first time in my life where I had quit a job without knowing where I would go next.  I was of the mindset that I could just work some odd job and look for the “real” job during my time away from work.  This was when I was hired by Tiffany & Co.  I thought I would work there through the holiday season and move on, but that wasn’t the case.  I quickly saw that there was opportunity for me to grow within the company.  Over the course of working for this famed jewelry store, I fell in love with so many aspects of the job.  There were also things I didn’t care for, but that’s the case with any job.  I started studying more about gemstones and diamonds and discovered that there was a plethora of information for me to learn.

Since I so enjoyed selling engagement rings, I knew that my next move was to continue my education by studying with the Gemological Institute of America.  I took online classes learning more about metals, diamonds and colored stones.  Eventually these classes took me to the GIA campus in Carlsbad, CA for additional education and testing.  I wanted to ultimately become a Gemologist, which I still would love to do.

I’ve left behind so many different jobs and potential career paths that on some days I can’t help but feel like I’ve sacrificed a career to be a stay-at-home mom.  I do not regret staying at home with Gialina one bit, but there are times where I see others and think, well they do it – “Why shouldn’t I?  Why can’t I?”  I think thoughts like these are totally normal.  Working moms long for more time with their kids, stay-at-home moms long for something of their own and moms who do it all can still have these same feelings.

Ask people what they think about stay-at-home moms and you’ll get a variety of answers, this I’m sure of.  “They sit around all day.  They’re making the best decision ever.  They don’t contribute to society.  They’re making a great sacrifice to stay home and nurture their kids day in and day out.”  There’s no shortage of opinions about women who stay home and raise their kids.  Hell, there’s no shortage of opinions about anything anymore!

Personally, I felt it impossible for me to be a great parent and a great employee at the same time.  I’m in awe of the women who do both because it’s hard!  It’s all hard!  Sometimes something has got to give.

For me, Ashley, being a great parent means nurturing my daughter as much as I can during these first years.  I’ll have my chance again to have my career soon enough.  Don’t get me wrong here, this is not a post about how to be a great parent, because unlike work, parenting is extremely subjective.  There are no titles, no end of the year bonuses, only endless care that you must provide in hopes that your child learns new things and grows up to be a good person.

I don’t have much credibility with regards to teaching others how to be good parents, so I won’t try – I mean, hello, I’ve had less than two years of experience.  All I know is that I am becoming a better parent everyday because of all the time I spend with my child.  I am keen to her unique wants and needs.  Obviously, you don’t have to stay at home like me to be a good parent or know everything about your child.  I have single-parent friends that work multiple jobs just to make sure their kids have what they need.  I have friends who work part-time and do one hell of a job making sure that they are a provider and a caregiver.  I also have friends who bust their butts at work for 12 hours a day so they can keep their house running smoothly and their kids happy.  The bottom line is, we all do what we need to do for our individual family needs and that’s perfect, but it’s still tough.

To a degree, we all long for something we don’t have and when it comes to work-life balance and parenting.  I’m not the only mom out there who feels like I don’t do enough at home – there’s always laundry, always dishes and always something!  I beat myself up when I can’t do it all.  “You’re just a stay-at home mom, why can’t you just get it all done like everyone else?!”

Enough negative self talk.  Enough.  If you work full-time, part-time, have a side hustle, stay at home with your kids, etc., you are amazing and doing your very best.  There’s always time in this life for the it career, the vacation, the whatever.  Remind yourself that what you’re doing is right for you at this moment in time.

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My daughter and her sister who is growing in my belly will only be little for so long.  I will have my career in a few years.  For now, it can wait because I’m doing what’s best for my family and so should you, even if it means that my life and yours look very different.

xo

Oatmeal-Zucchini Muffin Cups

AshleyLeave a comment

Last week I ordered Kristin Cavallari’s new cookbook, “True Roots.” As soon as it arrived I started flipping through it and made a grocery list so I could try some of the recipes right away. This is my usual m.o. when I get a new cookbook. I must have made close to five of her recipes already – all of them have been good! According to her Intro in the cookbook, she partnered with her long time chef who started working for her family after the birth of one of her children. I think it’s really refreshing that she’s not claiming to be some culinary expert, just someone passionate about making healthful food for herself and her family.

I shared a photo of the Oatmeal-Zucchini Muffin Cups from her cookbook on my Instagram stories and got multiple requests to post it on my blog. For those not wanting to by the cookbook, I’d seriously suggest rethinking that. It’s got a great variety of food and is very kid-friendly, for those of you cooking for big and little mouths. If you’re still not convinced, don’t worry, the recipe will be here for your using pleasure!

Here’s a shot of the recipe from the actual cookbook. It makes 12 very hearty muffins. So far, everyone in my house likes them so I’m sure you will too.

For those interested in ordering the cookbook, I purchased mine on the ever so wonderful Amazon. It’s already a #1 Bestseller!

Anyone else remember Kristin Cavallari’s “Laguna Beach” and “The Hills” days? I’m pretty sure we would have viewing parties my freshman year of college in the common area of our dorms. Oh man! Haha!

Another great cookbook that I’ve yet to make anything from is “The Minimalist Kitchen.” The photos in this book are eye catching and the recipes are simple and clean. I can’t wait to dig in and make some things after I’m done with my “True Roots” binge.

Hope you guys enjoy! Let me know what your favorite recipes are from each, or how you’ve tweaked them to make them your own!

Xo

1-Bowl Carrot Apple Muffins

AshleyLeave a comment

Like myself, many of you probably spent the weekend with family and friends celebrating the Easter holiday. If you didn’t, read on, because this post is for everyone.

This Easter we hosted our first egg hunt for Gialina. We invited both sets of grandparents over around 8:15 in the morning for coffee, tea and carrot apple muffins – simple, easy, nutritious and yummy.

This was the first time I’ve made these muffins, but I’ve used recipes from Minimalist Baker many times. She never disappoints me, so of course I wanted to make her festive muffins for this particular holiday morning.

From what everyone told me yesterday, our whole family seemed to really enjoy these healthy little treats. The final verdict always comes from my chef mother, and the muffins got her stamp of approval too. Even Gia loved them! She ate one yesterday morning and had one with her breakfast today. It’s always a win when your child likes what you make!

Since these 1-bowl muffins went over well, I’ll be adding them to my regular repertoire. I had some of my followers on Instagram (@mrsbennigson) ask for the recipe as well, so here I am ready to share the love and spread the word about Minimalist Baker and the recipe I got from her.

Hope you all enjoy these for breakfast or a snack as much as my family!

Xo

Here’s the recipe deets…..

Prep Time: 15 min

Cook Time: 32-36 min

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 flax eggs

• 1/4 cup olive oil

• 1/3 cup mashed very ripe banana

• 1/4 cup agave nectar or maple syrup (or honey if not vegan)

• 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce or 1 sweet apple, finely grated

• 1/2 cup brown sugar (or sub muscavado)

• 1/2 tsp sea salt

• 1 1/2 tsp baking soda

• 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

• 1/2 cup plain almond milk, unsweetened

• 1 heaping cup (packed) grated carrot

• 2/3 cup gluten-free rolled oats

• 1/2 cup almond meal

• 1 cup + 2 Tbsp gluten free flour blend

• 1/4 cup raw walnuts (chopped) for topping

Preparation:

1. Prepare flax eggs in a large mixing bowl and preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 C).

2. Prepare muffin tin with liners or lightly grease them.

3. To flax eggs mashed banana, agave or maple syrup, olive oil and whisk to combine.

4. Next add applesauce, brown sugar, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and whisk to combine.

5. Add almond milk and stir.

6. Add grated carrot and stir.

7. Add oats, almond meal, and gluten-free flour blend and stir.

8. Divide evenly among 12 muffin tins, filling them all the way up to the top, and top with crushed walnuts (optional).

9. Bake for 32-36 minutes, or until deep golden brown and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. When you press on the top it shouldn’t feel too spongey, so don’t be afraid of over baking! The GF blend just takes longer to bake.

10. Remove from oven and let set in the pan for 15 minutes. Then flip on their sides still in the pan to let cool completely.

11. If you try to unwrap them too quickly, they have a tendency to stick to the wrappers.

12. Once cooled, store in a covered container or bag at room temp to keep fresh. Freeze after that to keep fresh.

My Everyday Makeup and Beauty Must-Haves

Ashley1 Comment

I’ve always loved makeup, but over the years I’ve learned that less is more, especially for my lifestyle.

In high school I loved browsing the MAC counter and looking for new lip glosses and eyeshadows. I can’t even tell you how many makeup products I’ve gathered over the years – most of which I still have tucked away. (Don’t worry, I don’t use that old stuff!)

Through my college years and the years after, I stuck to the no makeup look, or a minimally done face. Being that I played softball in college, I didn’t really want to wear anything while at practice or during games.

Now that I’ve hit thirty I know the importance of taking care of my skin and not just worrying about what makeup products I use. If we take good care of our skin and use makeup that works well for us, we can slow down the aging process and look our best while we’re at it!

Today I want to share some of my favorite everyday beauty products that I use, including skincare and makeup.

Most days I go makeup free, but when I’m feeling motivated, or if I’m going somewhere that I’d like to look more polished, these are my go-to favorites of the moment:

  • Laura Mercier Secret Concealer For Under Eyes – A little dab will do ya with this stuff. I apply a small amount of this creamy concealer with my finger by gently dabbing my under eye area. It conceals any darkness and under eye circles. I’m sure there is an appropriate brush to apply this with, but I go for fast and easy.

  • Laura Mercier Secret Camouflage – This stuff is great for if you have any spots of discoloration or blemishes on your face. Unlike the under eye concealer, I do use a brush to apply this. It comes with two colors in the palette, which I blend together and then apply if needed.

  • Laura Mercier Smooth Finish Foundation Powder – Anytime I wear makeup I wear this foundation powder. I apply it with my favorite foundation brush, not the sponge that comes with the powder. Do whatever works for you. Many days I skip the first two products I’ve listed and jump straight to this. It cuts down on time and often I don’t need the two concealers.

  • MAC Cosmetics Mineralize Skinfinish Bronzer – This bronzing powder is great and I use it for multiple things.  I do a very natural contour of the cheekbones with it, as well as other parts of my face.  When I’m really pressed for time I skip this step all together.  Another great use for this product that I learned from real beauty bloggers, is to apply the bronzer in the crease of your eyelid.  That’s right, it can act as an eyeshadow.  I love this idea because again, it’s quick and easy, and it gives you just a little bit of color while remaining very natural.  Genius!

  • MAC Cosmetics Sheer Tone Blush – I use different shades of blush, depending on my eye makeup or the time of year.  Lately I’ve been using the shade, “Breath of Plum.”  I would think it would work well for many different skin tones, as it’s a very pretty plum-pink color.  Blush always warms up my face nicely.

  • MAC Cosmetics Mineralize Skinfinish Highlight – Highlight is all the rage these days.  I know some ladies like to wear a lot of highlight….so much that they’d like to be seen from outer space.  More power to ya girl!  I like to just put a small amount on the highest points of my face.  This includes the upper cheekbone area, my temples, cupid’s bow, bridge of my nose and a touch on my chin.  If I don’t want to be glowy that day I just skip it.  My favorite shade is called, “Soft & Gentle.”

We cannot forget to talk about brows and mascara!  I’ve always been someone who likes to take care of my brows because I think they frame your face and really make the rest of your potential makeup look great.  Like many others, I love the Anastasia Beverly Hills line when it comes to my brows.  Here’s what I use and my go-to mascara choices:

  • Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz – This little pencil works wonders!  Depending on your touch and how heavy handed you want to be, you can achieve whatever brow look you want.  I just like to keep my natural shape and fill in the areas that might be slightly sparse.  Natural, yet defined is the balance I always hope to achieve.

  • Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Powder Duo – I recently switched up my brow routine by trying a powder duo.  When I first started doing my brows I always reached for powder.  I thought I’d see how I like this product from Anastasia, and I really like it.  I feel like I can be a little bit more precise because it requires the use of a brush, which I’ve always been more comfortable with regarding my eyebrows.  I go back and forth between the powder duo and brow wiz – sometimes what I use depends on if I’ve run out of one or the other.

  • Anastasia Beverly Hills Synthetic Duo Brush (#12) – This is the best brow brush!  The bristles are nice and tight and the angle is very sharp for easy use.  This is the brush that I use when applying the powder duo above.  I also love that it has a spoolie brush on the end opposite of the angle brush.

  • Lancome Definicils Mascara – I used this mascara for the longest time and I recently revisited it.  The application brush is not big and fat and makes it easy to apply your mascara with precision.  This particular formula really lengthens and separates lashes nicely.  No spider legs here!

  • Le Volume De Chanel – Another favorite of mine!  I’ve been using this mascara on and off for years.  The brush is much fatter and allows you to pump up the volume of your lashes for a little bit more drama – hence the name.  In fact, I’m due to get another tube of this magic stuff.

Last but not least when it comes to makeup, the lip.  I always put something on my lips, especially if that’s all I have time for.  You can always find some type of lip product on me so I don’t get dry or chapped.  Here’s the rundown on my everyday lippies:

  • Christian Dior Lip Glow Color Reviver Balm – I view this little lip product as an amped up chapstick.  I wear it whether I’m bare faced or not.  It is super hydrating and gives me some warmth with a natural color.  If I remember correctly, it now comes quite a few shades.  I think I have them all too.

  • Pat McGrath Lip Fetish Lip Balm – This stuff can be hard to get your hands on.  It frequently sells out online and is a bit more of a splurge, priced at close to $40.  It’s a cleverly packaged, non-pigmented lip balm that is extremely moisturizing.  I feel like I’m indulging when I wear it.  It’s something that is very simple but makes you feel good when you have it on your lips.  Treat yourself!

  • Chanel Rouge Coco Shine – My mom was the one who encouraged me to get a few of these little babies.  These are more like a lipstick, yet are very sheer and give you a bit of color and shine.  They come in so many different shades and if you layer more product on you will get a more exaggerated color.  After having Gia my mom said this is a nice lip product to wear when you don’t have the time or energy for other makeup.  It makes you feel a little bit more pulled together and still is very natural.  Great buy for busy ladies or women who like the sheer look.

Makeup does nothing if you don’t take good care of your skin.  You have to make sure your canvas is clean and clear so that your makeup products look their best, therefore making you feel your best with them on.  My skincare routine is pretty straight forward and I don’t foresee that it will be changing any time soon.  Here’s what I use everyday:

  • Rodan + Fields Redefine Regimen – I’m sure many of you have heard of R + F and have various opinions about it.  Many people are familiar with Proactiv, which was created by Rodan + Fields.  The products that I use are not as geared towards clearing acne as Proactiv.  (Although there are regimens that they make that are.) I use a regimen called Redefine, which is geared towards fighting signs of aging. You can never start too young when it comes to wrinkle prevention.  It’s a three step process that I do twice per day – once in the morning and once at night.  I start with a cleansing mask, followed by a toner, and finish with a moisturizer.  In addition to doing this daily, I use their microdermabrasion paste three times per week in lieu of the cleansing mask.  I swear by this paste!  The first time I used it my skin was beyond soft.  It scrubs away dead skin and really gives you a nice glow after using it.  I’m so much of a believer in these products that I’m also a consultant.

That’s the round up of my makeup and skincare!  I know there’s thousands of awesome products out there and I love trying new things.  Like I already said, I’m no beauty blogger, just a lover of quality beauty products.  I’m positive that there are better things out there than what I use, or better ways to apply these products, so please, be kind – these are just things that work for me and what I enjoy using.  It’s nice to share our favorite things with one another.

Comment with your favorite products or shoot me a message!  I’d love to see what everyone uses!

xo

Our Potty Training Essentials

AshleyLeave a comment

Okay, so we are on day 11 of this potty training journey. I’m still alive and I haven’t strangled anyone! There have been really great days and days where I feel so defeated. I keep reminding myself this is completely normal and this is a habit that Gia is learning. I’ve realized I need to stop counting the unsuccessful moments and celebrate the successful ones like a crazy lady.

Over the last week and a half or so, I’ve found that there are some products that are absolutely essential for the place we are in time. I wanted to share what we are using and what’s working for us.

First, and most obviously, we have a little potty for Gia to use. We keep it in whatever room she is playing in and will eventually leave it in our bathroom as she continues to master her craft. 😉 I wanted to get a potty that was super simple – no bells and whistles. I didn’t want it to be viewed as a toy or to look and feel scary, so I ordered the Baby Bjorn Potty. I got ours off of Amazon for around $20.

These potties come in a variety of colors, but we went with white and gray. Basic, simple, straightforward.

We bring Gia’s small potty with us if we are going out to run an errand or anytime we have to get in the car. I keep it in the back of my small SUV and I give her the chance to use it before we head into a store, as well as before getting back in the car seat.

Over the weekend I placed it on the front passenger seat because I was getting some resistance from Gia. This small change in scenery really helped the focus not be on the potty and let her relax.

When we do go out to do things, we are still very brief and strategic. With that being said, I don’t tote the little potty with us in stores. I have a foldable insert that I keep in my diaper backpack for easy access.

If we go into a store, the first thing I do is locate the restroom and bring Gia in there with me. I do this to let her know where the bathroom is and to show her that it’s not as unfamiliar and scary as it may seem.

Before we started all of this potty training stuff I ordered an insert that didn’t fold. I like it, but after bringing it with us in a nondescript bag when on the go, I decided to keep that one on the big potty at home. The brand of that insert is Cozy Greens, and again, I found it on Amazon. It comes with a sticker chart, but we don’t use it.

Now when we go out we bring our foldable insert, which comes with a washable storage bag! So much more convenient and a bit more sanitary. The brand of this insert is Gimars and it comes with a little owl face on the seat, with a variety of colors.

I know that I mentioned I wanted to keep her potty seats simple, but after facing a few days of resistance, I thought this would be inviting for Gia and take some pressure off of her. I mostly like it because of how small it folds up for travel. I don’t recall the exact price, but I think it was right around $15.

This morning it came to mind that I should order some type of baby doll that has a potty chair. The last few days Gia has brought some of her stuffed animals to her potty to show it to them and “make them go potty.” I did some googling and found that the toy brand Melissa and Doug makes a baby doll that comes with a potty and a few other accessories. Yep, I already ordered it and it will be here today or tomorrow. Gotta love Amazon! The doll was around $22.

Now, I realize that not every child will want or need a doll like this, but I know that Gia will like it. Not only that, but I think it will serve as a fun learning tool for her.

Lastly, whenever we go out I bring multiple changes of clothes. This includes shirts, pants, socks and shoes. You never know how messy things can get. I also bring multiple gallon size ziplock bags for dirty clothes. Another thing I bring is a tub of Lysol wipes. These definitely come in handy, and I wouldn’t have thought of these off the bat.

Let me stress again that every kid is different and will potty train differently. These tools and products are what’s working for us. I also want to tell you that I’ve shed my fair share of tears this past week and a half. If I were able to have a glass or two of wine at the end of the day it might help, but since I’m pregnant that’s out of the question.

I’m definitely learning a lot about myself as Gia learns this new skill. Just as I’ve needed this reminder on a daily basis, I’ll also remind any of you going through this – don’t give up!

Xo

Potty Training: The Good, Bad And Ugly

Ashley2 Comments

For the last month and a half or so, I’ve been slightly obsessed with all things potty training. This obsession was spurred by learning a friend of mine started the process with her daughter, who is about four months older than my daughter.

After hearing my friend had taken five days off of work to get the ball rolling, I did some research and ordered a book on potty training to prepare myself for this future milestone. I knew that if my friend’s daughter could do it, so could Gia. Our girls are both very verbal and independent, so why not give them the gift of a clean bum?

I took longer reading the book than I thought because I didn’t want to just rush through it. Also, I couldn’t just finish it in a couple days because, well, LIFE. There’s hundreds of books and opinions out there, so there’s many ways to go about potty training. After all, when we were kids there weren’t all of these resources. Our parents mostly did what they thought was best for us and that’s fine. The way they potty trained, the way I’m potty training and the way you potty train all work for us and our kids. There isn’t necessarily a “right” or “wrong.” You can expect for everyone to interject their opinions though. Just do what you think is best and ignore the rest.

So, if you’re a parent of a toddler, you may be wondering which book I went with. I ordered Oh Crap! Potty Training, by Jamie Glowacki, through Amazon. I gave myself about two weeks time to try and not think about potty training after finishing the book, before actually starting.

Craig and I decided our start date would be on his first day off of his work week. This allowed us three days together to try and tackle things as a team. Thank goodness we planned it this way because we needed each other’s support. Don’t get me wrong though, there were times we were very frustrated with one another.

Let me just say that the first day was very hard. As a Type- A individual, it was difficult to let go of the fact that my child would not be good at this in the beginning. Duh, Ashley! How crazy of me to think for one second that my child, who has known only diapers since moments after birth, would magically be a pro at potty training!

I think that as a parent I secretly wished that this process would be smooth sailing and we would magically get it done. No such thing, even when children are bright.

The main reason why I’m sharing part of our experience is to let other parents know that this is hard stuff. Fortunately for me, I have a sister-in-law with a newly turned two-year old son, who started potty training last month. After our first day of potty training I asked her if she experienced the things we were experiencing. Low and behold, they did. The bottom line of this is that potty training takes an insane amount of time, energy and absolute patience. These are all attributes that most parents just white knuckle their way into acquiring. Yep, that’s right – we don’t know everything and that’s totally okay!

For those of you in the first days of potty training, I applaud you and encourage you to push through! If I didn’t have encouragement from my husband, mom, girlfriend and sister-in-law after the first two days, I might have thrown in the towel. You will feel the same way, but DO NOT GIVE IN! It is worth having the most challenging time to see progress. We are currently on day six of our potty training and I am amazed. The sense of pride I feel is huge and what’s even better is seeing the big smile on Gia’s face when she goes on her potty. You can see how proud she is of herself too.

Set yourself up for success and do some research, get a potty, get an insert and have wine ready at the end of the day. It will be hard and we all face different hurdles through this time. Working parents, kids who go to day care and stay at home parents all have a different set of challenges to deal with while hitting this milestone.

Even if potty training sends you to therapy, you can do it! If I can get over the hump and continue to push through, so can you!

Xo

#MomSoHard

Ashley8 Comments

As parents we try our very best to be the ultimate caretakers, protectors, providers and nurturers, but some days we feel like we just flat out suck. If there’s one thing I know, I am not alone with these feelings.

Becoming a parent has hands down been the greatest thing I’ve ever done, yet it’s also been the absolute hardest. Gialina has the power to melt me or crush me with a single word, look, or gesture. It’s almost as if I’m at the mercy of a tiny dictator….an adorable tiny dictator.

I think about how Craig and I made the decision for me to be a stay-at-home mom and I know it has been the best decision for our family. With that, some days I can’t help but think about the single parents, the working parents and parents of multiple kids who seem to always get everything done, and without complaint.

On my tough days at home with Gia I try and remember parents who have it a lot harder than me (the stay-at-home parent raising three kids under three, the parent who cries when dropping their child off at daycare, and the parent working two jobs who just can’t catch a break). I should be so grateful to stay home and raise my daughter, knowing she’s learning from me. I am grateful of course, but it’s not picture perfect, nor should it be.

Being a mom is hard. I’m alone most of the time and that takes a toll on my mental health. When I say alone, I’m with my daughter, but obviously talking to her is very different than talking to an adult. I sit in my own thoughts and that can have a negative snowball effect on me at times.

It’s easy for me to judge myself and feel guilty about most anything related to parenting. I know many parents feel that same guilt, so I’m not alone, but man….it still feels lonely.

I feel like I didn’t do my best as a mom if I didn’t talk enough to Gia, play enough, take her to the park, etc. These thoughts are completely ridiculous, I know. She gets plenty of stimulation doing the countless things we do at home.

Then there’s that other guilt I get. Guilt from not folding the laundry right away, from not picking up the play room (even though I’ve done it three times already), guilt from not making Craig a lunch for work, etc. After all, my job is to take care of Gia and our family home.

The days I don’t do it all, or don’t feel like doing it all make me feel like I’ve lost. If this is my “job” and what I choose to do then I should be doing better at it, right?! No. I’m doing the best I can, just like everyone else.

Yesterday was a day where I felt like I just couldn’t win. The second Craig walked in the door I felt better because I had my partner in life home. At the same time I was upset that Gia could care less about me because he was home. I’m so glad that she loves both of us so deeply, but I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy. I’m with her all day, everyday, bending over backwards to give her everything she needs. Daddy is gone at work, so of course she misses him. I feel bad for having those feelings, but they’re honest.

Once Craig had changed from work and asked me what he could do to help with dinner, etc. I asked if he wouldn’t mind bathing Gia for me. When I walked down the hall to see how they were doing, any feelings of envy disappeared. Appreciation was what I felt in that moment instead.

Tubby time with daddy:

We are all just trying our best to make it through each day, whether we have kids or not. Don’t judge the mom in the grocery store because her clothes are covered in dog hair and don’t judge the person on BART falling asleep after a long day at work. You don’t know what they might be dealing with in their personal life, or how long they were up with their kids the night before.

Xo