Tag: family

#MomSoHard

Ashley8 Comments

As parents we try our very best to be the ultimate caretakers, protectors, providers and nurturers, but some days we feel like we just flat out suck. If there’s one thing I know, I am not alone with these feelings.

Becoming a parent has hands down been the greatest thing I’ve ever done, yet it’s also been the absolute hardest. Gialina has the power to melt me or crush me with a single word, look, or gesture. It’s almost as if I’m at the mercy of a tiny dictator….an adorable tiny dictator.

I think about how Craig and I made the decision for me to be a stay-at-home mom and I know it has been the best decision for our family. With that, some days I can’t help but think about the single parents, the working parents and parents of multiple kids who seem to always get everything done, and without complaint.

On my tough days at home with Gia I try and remember parents who have it a lot harder than me (the stay-at-home parent raising three kids under three, the parent who cries when dropping their child off at daycare, and the parent working two jobs who just can’t catch a break). I should be so grateful to stay home and raise my daughter, knowing she’s learning from me. I am grateful of course, but it’s not picture perfect, nor should it be.

Being a mom is hard. I’m alone most of the time and that takes a toll on my mental health. When I say alone, I’m with my daughter, but obviously talking to her is very different than talking to an adult. I sit in my own thoughts and that can have a negative snowball effect on me at times.

It’s easy for me to judge myself and feel guilty about most anything related to parenting. I know many parents feel that same guilt, so I’m not alone, but man….it still feels lonely.

I feel like I didn’t do my best as a mom if I didn’t talk enough to Gia, play enough, take her to the park, etc. These thoughts are completely ridiculous, I know. She gets plenty of stimulation doing the countless things we do at home.

Then there’s that other guilt I get. Guilt from not folding the laundry right away, from not picking up the play room (even though I’ve done it three times already), guilt from not making Craig a lunch for work, etc. After all, my job is to take care of Gia and our family home.

The days I don’t do it all, or don’t feel like doing it all make me feel like I’ve lost. If this is my “job” and what I choose to do then I should be doing better at it, right?! No. I’m doing the best I can, just like everyone else.

Yesterday was a day where I felt like I just couldn’t win. The second Craig walked in the door I felt better because I had my partner in life home. At the same time I was upset that Gia could care less about me because he was home. I’m so glad that she loves both of us so deeply, but I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy. I’m with her all day, everyday, bending over backwards to give her everything she needs. Daddy is gone at work, so of course she misses him. I feel bad for having those feelings, but they’re honest.

Once Craig had changed from work and asked me what he could do to help with dinner, etc. I asked if he wouldn’t mind bathing Gia for me. When I walked down the hall to see how they were doing, any feelings of envy disappeared. Appreciation was what I felt in that moment instead.

Tubby time with daddy:

We are all just trying our best to make it through each day, whether we have kids or not. Don’t judge the mom in the grocery store because her clothes are covered in dog hair and don’t judge the person on BART falling asleep after a long day at work. You don’t know what they might be dealing with in their personal life, or how long they were up with their kids the night before.

Xo

Finding Balance While Maintaining A Sleep Schedule

Ashley2 Comments

To schedule or not to schedule?!  The idea of having some kind of routine for Gia crept into my mind during the first few weeks after taking her home from the hospital.  I read a couple of sleep solution books prior to Gia being born, in anticipation of being so sleep deprived myself that the last thing on my mind would be a book.

I’ve always been someone who likes a routine and babies and little ones like it too — or so I’ve read.  🙂  For the sake of making sure Gia was/is happy, thriving & rested, I adopted a schedule for her.  I didn’t really know what I was doing, but what I figured was best was to follow Gia’s cues.  And when I say schedule I’m primarily talking about a sleep schedule.

Over the last year and a half we’ve gotten a rhythm and have a pretty good system that works for us.  Nowadays, Gia takes one nap around noon and will usually sleep until 2:30-3 pm.  I prefer to be home for her naps so she can be better rested by sleeping in her crib, as opposed to sleeping on-the-go in the car or in her stroller.  That’s not to say that we don’t do that occasionally, but it doesn’t work as well for us.

Over-tired and out to dinner:

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Here’s a little secret:  I’ve always been in awe of the parents who are “no-schedule” kind of schedulers.  I think it’s because I wish I could be a little bit more like that.  You know what I mean….fly by the seat of your pants, take every minute as it comes kind of thing.  That’s just not how I’m wired, but I’m working hard to bring more of that free spirited attitude into my life.

Again, I know there is no wrong way to do things when it comes to a schedule for your child, or lack there of one.  I just like learning from the ways that other parents do it, so I can see if it works for my family too.

The reason why a set nap time in her crib works best is because Gia does not transfer well from the car to her crib.  I’ve successfully transferred her mayyyybe two times in her life.  For me it’s just not worth having an over-tired, cranky toddler by the time 4 pm rolls around, especially since days as a stay-at-home parent can feel long when they don’t go smoothly.  (Days are long for anyone – working parent, stay-at-home parent, etc.)  I know for a fact that people think I’m strict about how our day goes with Gia, but I really don’t care anymore.  What works for us may or may not work for others and there’s nothing wrong with that.

This is the “no nap” look:

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What I do know about making sure Gia gets adequate day time sleep is that she sleeps well at night because of it.  She’s always been a good little sleeper, but if I make sure she’s happy and rested it makes life so much easier for me.

A typical day with no exciting plans usually looks like this:

  • 7 am Wake up
  • Breakfast time + play time
  • 9 am Gym (Gia plays in the daycare while we workout)
  • 11 am Lunch time for Gia
  • Play until nap time at noon-ish
  • 2:30-3 pm Wake up
  • Play + snack
  • Run necessary errands or go to the park
  • 5 pm dinner for Gia
  • Bath time
  • 7 pm Bed time

We went down from two naps to one nap per day for Gia pretty soon after her first birthday.  She was fighting going down for her second nap of the day on a consistent basis, so I knew that was a sign to cut it down to one nap.  That nap transition wasn’t the easiest because I felt limited in what we could get done in the morning.  If we were in the car anywhere from 10 am on, that would result in falling asleep and hindering the sleep plan for the day.  Not the end of the world, but still tough on mom, dad and toddler.

Now, we just make it work and I never feel deprived or as if I don’t get to go do anything with her because of our routine.  I’m making a point to go out once a week where we just wing it through the day, as far as naps and a schedule goes.  Many times this results in a challenging afternoon due to an over-tired 18 month old, but we are all learning how to deal with these curveballs.  In a strange way, the days that naps go haywire are the days where my mental health is challenged and made stronger.  See, I’m finding the positive in something that I would’ve considered negative.

On-the-go sleep:

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I’m curious, do any other parents out there have any tricks up their sleeve regarding schedules and napping?  What do you guys do when your child has skipped their nap?  How do you make it until bedtime with minimal meltdowns?  What do you do if you want to enjoy a day out as a family?

I know sometimes these hiccups are just par for the course, but I’d love to hear what works for others so we can try things out to see if they work for us too.  We’re in this together!

xo

 

A Birth Story: Gialina Eve

Ashley2 Comments

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There are two days in my life that I will never forget – one is my wedding day and the other is the day Gialina was born.  I know lots of mommy bloggers share their birth stories, so initially I shied away from the idea of sharing mine.  What changed my mind is that everyone’s story is so unique and beautiful.  There is no right way to give birth and no mother should be shamed for going through natural delivery, an epidural or a c-section.  So much is out of your control when you bring another life into the world and any way that your child arrives is a perfect miracle.

I used to dislike saying that childbirth is such a miracle (silly me – that was before I actually went through it), but as cliche as it sounds, that’s the only way to describe it.  So, so much can go wrong from the time of conception until you meet your baby.   Inevitably, the wold miracle is the only proper one that encompasses the whole process.

I’d like to start by saying that the day I gave birth was just an ordinary day, but it sure didn’t feel that way to me.  I was so done with being pregnant!  Gia’s due date was July 28th, 2016, but our little lady arrived according to her own plan an entire week late.  The morning of August 4th, 2016 I had a pre-scheduled appointment with my OB/GYN.  That morning I felt pretty normal and remember the slightest little stomach cramps.  Of course my brain went straight to “I must be in labor!”

I was hoping that once Craig and I got to the hospital for my doctor’s appointment that they would confirm that I was in labor and I could just stay there and get ready to welcome our daughter.  WRONG!  I got all hooked up to some contraption to check and see if I was actually contracting and in labor, and the answer was a big fat no.  Come to find out, I was only dilated 1cm.  Womp, womp.  I was so bummed to hear this because I was thinking that this was it.  My doctor reminded me that things can change quickly, so don’t let yourself get too fixated on it.  Either way, I was penciled in for induction a few days later if mother nature didn’t get things moving on her own.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting induced.  Modern medicine is amazing and whatever my doctor thought was best for the baby was what I was going to do.  I have to admit that I really, really did not want to be induced.  I had heard a lot of stories about induction and it being a lot more painful, due to the pitocin that is given.

I took my doctor’s advice and just tried to relax as much as possible and not let my body get stressed.  Since I realized again that I was not the one in control here, I went about my day the way I usually would.  I opted for a walk in the neighborhood instead of heading to the gym like I had everyday prior.

Most of the remainder of the day was spent at my mom and dad’s house.  No matter how old I get, I will still always need my mom and that’s who I wanted to be near (along with my husband, of course) if I happened to go into labor.  So, Craig and I hung out at my parents house until my brother flew in from Orange County and my dad got home from work. (Since there was a possibility of being induced, my parents flew my brother home for Gia’s birth.)

All afternoon I was feeling oddly crampy.  I was uncomfortable but it felt more annoying to me than anything else.  I kept asking my mom and Craig, “Am I in labor?  Don’t you think I would know?  I can’t tell if I’m in labor or not.”  I know that sounds ridiculous, but I didn’t know what to expect, as I’ve never even experienced menstrual cramps, let alone childbirth.

We decided it couldn’t hurt to time the “possible” contractions.  I was all over the board when it came to timing these cramps, as I called them.  I was in complete denial that I was in labor and was able to sit and have dinner before I told Craig it was time to go home.

Keeping it real with this one – Here I am, clueless as to the fact that I’d be giving birth very soon:

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Since my dad and brother had arrived home, the house was getting a little louder and I found myself becoming irritable and wanted to be in the quiet of our own home.  Craig and I grabbed our things and were walking down the hallway towards the front door when, yep, you guessed it – my water broke!  It wasn’t at all like what the movies make it out to be.  I literally felt like I had peed my pants and couldn’t stop.

I remember screaming in disbelief, excitement and let’s be real, fear – “MY WATER BROKE, MY WATER BROKE!”  Thankfully, Craig was so on top of things and was dialing labor and delivery before I could think to do it.  The nurses on the other line instructed me to get in the shower and rinse off before making my way to the hospital.

Lucky for me my water broke right next to the downstairs bathroom, so I just went a few steps and took my quick shower.  That’s when sh*t started to get real.  My contractions came like a bat out of hell, fast and furious, almost immediately after my water broke.  Things were so intense that I could hardly get to the car.  I’m pretty sure I just hovered over the passenger seat while Craig drove faster than I’d like to know to get me to the hospital, which was maybe 12 minutes away or so.

I made Craig run the last light before getting to the hospital because I was literally about to give birth in the car.  Craig parked his car in the middle of the emergency room driveway, grabbed me a wheelchair and pushed me into the ER asking how to get to labor and delivery from there.  Everyone was literally staring at us saying nothing until the security guard chimed in and said, “this lady is about of have a baby, get her upstairs!”

Once I was upstairs I was brought to a delivery room right way.  The nurses were so calm and nice, and even making me laugh through my contractions.  Don’t get me wrong people, I was by no means comfortable.  I distinctly remember telling the nurse that I wasn’t opposed to getting an epidural if this was how I was currently feeling.  No need to try and be the hero, right?!

The nurse told me she needed to check me first before she could give me a yay or nay on the epidural.  All you mamas out there are probably thinking, girl it’s too late for that.  The nurse confirmed and said word for word, “Oh no, honey, you’re having a baby right now.”  I was already fully dilated, so I asked the nurse if I could push now.

During all of this chaos, Craig’s car is still in the ER driveway.  He asked the nurse if he should go move it (DUH!), but she said, “Not if you want to miss the birth of your child.”  Thank goodness my family was right behind us on the way to the hospital, so Craig literally tossed my brother his keys, so he could move his car.

I sat down on that delivery bed right around 8 p.m. and I think I pushed maybe five times and she was out by 8:31 p.m.  I had never felt more like Wonder Woman in my entire life.  Well, I should say I felt like Wonder Woman who just got a really good beat down by the bad guy.  I did it!  I was holding our beautiful daughter, who had a head full of hair and the sweetest little face.  When the nurses were weighing her I remember fixating on her hands and feet because I couldn’t get over how big they were.  I was in utter disbelief that she was just inside of me and I was able to push her out.  She was no tiny baby either.  Gia was a healthy 8 lbs 15 oz and 20 inches long.

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Giving birth to our daughter is my proudest moment and I will never tire of telling the story of her arrival.  Women’s bodies are amazing and capable of enduring so much.  I have to say, there was moment after the nurse told me that I couldn’t have an epidural that I got scared.  I questioned if I was strong enough to do it.  I was strong enough, and every time that I look at my daughter today, I cannot believe she is part of me.

I was grateful to be able to have such a quick delivery, but that doesn’t mean it any easier.  I’m just glad I wasn’t laboring and pushing for hours like many women do.  Those women are the real tough ones!  We are all goddesses, whether we have given birth or not, all women are amazing and capable of doing anything.  Sometimes we just need a gentle reminder every now and then!

xo

Reflecting On A Busy Year & Preparing For 2018

Ashley2 Comments

Here we are, yet again.  We are days away from saying goodbye to another year and getting ready to welcome a fresh start for 2018.  This is the time where people begin to think about making resolutions for the year to come.  Normally I don’t make a resolution.  I thought I’d flip the script just a little bit, while it’s great to make new goals for the upcoming year, it’s equally as important to reflect on the year that has passed.  I’m feeling especially inspired to start my 2018 with a clear mind, positive thoughts and heaps of gratitude, thanks to a very, very popular blogger.  I’m taking the time to write a few things down and share them with you, at the suggestion of Julia Engel.  Head to her blog, Gal Meets Glam, to see the post that has encouraged me to do some reflecting.

Now Julia isn’t the only one doing the encouraging – I encourage any of you reading my blog to follow suit and do as I am doing here.  Take an hour to yourself to reflect, show appreciation and yes, plan for a good start to 2018.

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5 things I’m proud that I accomplished this past year:

  1. Sold our first home and purchased our current home.  Life is stressful in many ways, and I’ve realized that moving homes is close to the top of my stressors list.  I’m happy that we are settled in our house and it already feels like we have been here for years.  I definitely look forward to continue making it ours.
  2. Started blogging again.  I follow a lot of different bloggers through their Instagram accounts.  Although I’m not an “accomplished” blogger, I feel that I’ve already become successful.  When I say successful I mean that I successfully put my mind to something, followed through and continued to write, regardless of the opinions of others.  That’s a win in my book for sure!
  3. Deliberately went out of my comfort zone.  Although this does not pinpoint one specific thing, it’s an accomplishment nonetheless.  I’ve done things like take Gia on road trips, try completely new workouts and deviate from our routines.  I’m sure these sound small to outsiders, but for me they’re huge.
  4. Survived the ups and downs of my first year as a parent.  When Gia turned one in August, it wasn’t just a birthday celebration.  It was also a chance for Craig and I to look at each other and say, “we did it!”  The first year of parenthood is magical, but it is freakin’ tough!  Anyone who tells you otherwise is not telling you the whole truth.  From sleepless nights, to that first little giggle, all of it is so memorable in it’s own unique way.
  5. Regained my sense of self.  After having Gia in August of 2016, I dealt with a lot of new feelings about myself.  Many of those feelings about myself weren’t so positive and were likely related to postpartum hormones.  I was able to feel like me again after remembering to make myself a priority.  After all, if I don’t take good care of myself, how can I take care of anyone else?

One of my favorite accomplishments of the year – celebrating Gia’s 1st birthday!

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5 things I want to tackle in 2018:

  1. Do more yoga.  I think I’ve said this for the past three years.  I start the year off doing some yoga and then I fall off the wagon.  This year I want to do it for my mind, to keep my body loose and prevent injury from my more traditional workouts in the gym.
  2. Hold weekly meetings with myself.  I’ll even admit it, this one is lofty.  It sounds really simple, but it’s not that easy.  I want these “meetings” to be a check-in where I can refocus and align my to-do lists with my high-level priorities.
  3. Maximize my time.  I’m going to try and implement a two-minute rule.  Any action that can be carried out in two minutes or less will need to be completed right away.  I’ll be able to finish small tasks before they pile up and take more mental space than they deserve.
  4. Learn to control my emotions.  It’s not like I have uncontrolled anger and need anger management classes, but certain emotions are destructive in all circumstances.  Gaining control over my feelings will allow me to continue to keep a level head and think more rationally, even during emotionally charged situations.
  5. Volunteer.  I want to do good for myself, but I also want to do good for others in the upcoming year.  The times that I have volunteered, or donated, gave me a sense of purpose, made life a little more meaningful, and made me happy.

Now that I’ve listed a few things I’ve accomplished this year and a few things I’d like to tackle this coming year, I want to continue the trend of making lists.  This next one is going to be one that I jot down on paper and keep to myself though.  Feel free to join in and do it too.  Again, these are ideas I’ve followed from one of my favorite bloggers, Julia Engel, of Gal Meets Glam.

I’m writing down the names of five people (or as many as you like) who were my best supporters during my hardest and happiest times this year.  My plan is to send them a note of appreciation to thank them and remind them of what their actions and presence has meant to me.  These are the people who have contributed to my own personal growth.

The last thing I’d like to do is scroll through the photos on my iPhone and find five pictures that make me happiest when thinking about that memory.  That is going to be hard to do and take quite a bit of time, considering how many thousands of photos of Gia are in my phone.  I’ll be honest, I’m going to save the scrolling for another day.  It will likely be long after Gia has gone to bed for the night – that’s when I do most of my scrolling anyway!

I hope that in 2018 my thoughts become actions.  The act of doing is contagious and with that, accomplishments can come closer each day.  I can’t expect all of my goals for 2018 to happen in January, but with lots of hard work, a little faith and some action, I’ll get them done.

Happy New Year to all!

xo

 

Those Who Matter Don’t Mind & Those Who Mind Don’t Matter

AshleyLeave a comment

So, this morning it was brought to my attention by someone who read my blog post from yesterday, that the post was “offensive to a lot of people who can’t have children, or are childless by choice.”  This was juuuust the tip of the iceberg.

First off, I am saddened and quite frankly, shocked that this was how my post came across to this reader.  I stated in the post that it was not meant to offend or single out anyone or any single incident in my life.  I know that my little disclaimer doesn’t prevent people from being offended or sharing personal opinions.  I just wanted to come and clarify, for lack of a better way to put it, that I meant no harm.

I always post with the best of intentions, while keeping in mind that I want to stay true to myself and be authentic.  It has taken me many years to realize that I should just do what I love and be me!  Now that I’m actually doing that I feel a bit taken aback.

Second, I was not aware that a single reader could speak for ALL who are childless, by choice or otherwise.  I felt it unfair to have one person make such a blanket statement for a group of people who may have differing opinions than the one they tried to present to me via message.

Let me include that this person is childless, as I’m sure you could have guessed.  There is nothing wrong with deciding that having children isn’t for you.  There is also a countless amount of people who struggle to have a child, which I most definitely sympathize with.

I am honestly hurt that someone could say that my post was “a scathing vent of why my time is more important than any of my childless friends.”  Let’s be clear here….EVERYONE’S time is important and I am not saying that my worth is more than someone who is without children.  That couldn’t be furthest from the truth!  The people who really know me well know that I am a good person who would never claim superiority because I am a mother.  True friends are people who will seek to understand.

My post was meant to humor those who do have kids and help them see that as parents, we all go through growing pains.  Yes, I realize that when I chose to start blogging that others would give their personal opinions, and that’s great.  This is a discussion board of sorts, and I’m glad this person messaged me because I can always learn something from these kinds of interactions.  What I think is a bummer is that the message also affirmed that there are people who are not willing to have a dialogue, and will cut you out.

The hurtful message assumed so much wrong about me and the point I was trying to convey. Since I have a blog that revolves around being a mother, fitness, cooking and family (all things I love), am I not able to talk about those things for fear of constantly “offending” someone else who has a differing opinion?  So, now am I an insensitive person because I talk about being a mother??  Am I not allowed to talk about the role that has changed my life, just because I’m afraid I will hurt the feelings of someone who is struggling to become a mother?  That sounds pretty ridiculous to me, especially considering it was not easy for me to become pregnant.

I will continue to write about things that interest me, things I’m passionate about and yes, I will absolutely write about what it’s like having a child!  Blogging will always invite opinions and discussions, some of which might be hard to accept.  In turn, since this is my space to share my opinions, you now know my opinion of the message I received.  As a side note, this was the only negative commentary I received on yesterday’s post.  I received many in support of what I wrote and thanking me for being open and honest.  I’ll never please everyone, so it’s best if I just come to terms with that now!

So here it is….I’m warning all of you now that if you don’t like what I write or if it’s offensive, you can stop reading my posts just like this individual did.  We all have a choice.  🙂

Things People Without Kids Need To Understand

Ashley9 Comments

Okay, I get it.  I need to be compassionate, and most days I am.  I need to remember that people without children don’t know what it’s like to have them.  After all, I was one of those people 16 short months ago.  But, now my life is totally different.

I understand that when you don’t have kids you still care….you just don’t get it.  There’s no way you can help someone who doesn’t want kids, or is yet to have them, understand this whole mom thing.  I’m a different person now than I was before I had Gia.

Sometimes my wish is that those who are without children, especially those who know and love me, would pull up a chair, take a seat and let me explain a few things.  I feel like it would benefit both parties.  (No, this post was not prompted by anyone or any specific incident, and it’s certainly not meant to offend anyone.)  So, here we go:

  1. Meeting up last minute doesn’t work for me.  I used to be free spirited when it came to meeting up for an impromptu happy hour, or coffee date.  These days, I need to bring my busy toddler with me, along with a full arsenal of her “things.”  Basically, this kind of stuff takes a little planning, so I need a few hours notice to successfully meet up!
  2. It can take me hours to respond to text messages and days for voicemails.  Don’t read into my lack of urgency in responding to you.  It is what it is.  I just haven’t been able to get back to you because I’m busy putting my child down for a nap, washing dishes, or actually taking a shower.  Trust me, I care about you and want to give your text or message attention, but only when I can sit down and give it the thoughtfulness that it deserves.
  3. Let me show you what a real mess is.  Spit-up, diapers, baby food, bottles, dishes, toys everywhere and a few unmentionables.  If you want to feel better about the state of messiness that your home is in, just stop by my place after hurricane Gia has played all day.
  4. Do not tell me how exhausted you are, even though I know you’re allowed to be tired too.  Okay, you’re tired, but I’m a walking zombie.  Sleep regressions are real people!  Teething babies, sick babies, you name it, it means less sleep.  (All worth it of course!)
  5. Yes, I have to, and more importantly, want to bring my child with me.  I’ve missed out on countless invites to things because people simply think I can’t come now that I have Gia.  If you don’t ask me I certainly can’t join.  Now, I can join, if it’s okay with you that I bring my child.  This probably means interrupted conversation, food everywhere and if we’re lucky, maybe even a meltdown.  No, I can’t just let her sit in her stroller while we sip on a glass of wine on the patio of the newest restaurant somewhere.  She won’t just sit still and lay in the sun like your dog.
  6. I just don’t have time.  I’m usually cleaning my child, feeding my child, or trying to prevent her from getting into something that she shouldn’t be getting into.
  7. Parenting ain’t easy.  Insert comment from non-parent here: “I will never do _____ when I have children.” 😐
  8. No, I can’t just make my toddler stop crying when she’s having a meltdown.  One year old children can’t use their words, because they simply don’t know enough of them!  Even if they do, crying and getting upset tells me they need something.
  9. I constantly talk about my daughter, so you’ll have to get used to it.  I just love her more than life, so in turn, I love talking about her.
  10. Raising a pet is not the same as raising a human.  It’s just not.  The end.
  11. I post lots of pictures of my child.  I can’t help it!  I just think she’s amazing in every way.  It’s my prerogative.  If you think I shouldn’t post her photo to social media, that’s fine.  Feel free to unfollow me or roll your eyes in the privacy of your own home.
  12. I still need you.  And I’m still here for you too, I just keep odd hours.  My friends without kids shouldn’t feel like they can’t call me anytime.  I just might not respond or answer right away.  (See #2)  My life won’t be this chaotic forever….well, it might be, but eventually my little girl is going to grow up.  She will have friends, school and activities that keep her occupied and engaged.  She won’t need me as much as she does now, which makes me sad, yet proud.  By then I’m sure I’ll have a little more time to be the type of friend I want to be.  Although, by then, you might have one of your own.  At that time, I’ll just read this list I made to remind myself of what you might want me to understand.

This shot of Gia sums things up pretty well.  Dirty face, getting into something, all while living her best life.  I wouldn’t change a thing!

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Healthy Gingerbread Muffins VS. Traditional Gingerbread

Ashley2 Comments

It’s a good thing I love to work out because I also like to eat good food.  As they say, “everything in moderation!”  For some that can be a hard saying to live by during the holiday season with so many parties, cookie swaps and family gatherings all centered around food.  The holidays are definitely the time of year where many people indulge more than usual, but rightfully so!

With moderation in mind, I wanted to share two recipes that I came across for gingerbread.  One is a healthier muffin version and the other is for all you traditionalists – a classic gingerbread.

But first, here’s Gia helping in the kitchen:

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For those of you who follow my Instagram account, I’ve shared some of my baking escapades over the last few days.  On Monday, Gia and I made the healthy gingerbread muffins, which were a total hit with her (and the dog – oops).  Gia has had one muffin everyday for the last three days!  As for Homie, our Frenchie, he got ahold of a muffin that Gia accidentally dropped yesterday.  Unbelievably, Gia didn’t mean to drop it.  Thankfully Homie didn’t get sick after devouring the totally off-limits treat, he just had excessive gas, which isn’t too far from the usual for him.  Sorry, TMI!  Anyone who owns a French Bulldog can sympathize.

I finally tasted the healthier gingerbread muffins the morning after I made them.  I decided the muffin would taste good with some espresso, so that’s what I paired it with.  The flavors of the muffin were there, but it was on the dry side.  I totally expected that would happen, due to the “healthier” ingredients.  For those who are wanting a taste of the holiday but also want to be mindful of what they’re eating, it’s a good compromise.  The downside is, it might just leave you yearning for the old school version with all the calories.

I knew I had to make some traditional gingerbread after my husband, Craig, dubbed me a junior baker after making “healthy” muffins.  Let’s say I’ve regained my usual title of household iron chef after making the real deal!

I found the recipe for this classic gingerbread from another blogger that I enjoy following – Jenna Beaugh, known as @eatliverun on Instagram.  I love following her Instagram account because she is someone I can relate to.  Jenna is a mom of two boys and is a food and travel writer who is based here in the Bay Area – Berkeley to be exact.  She keeps it real with the ups and downs that come with motherhood and she is always sharing great recipes.  Go follow her!

We have yet to taste the recipe that I used from Jenna because the gingerbread has literally just popped out of the oven.  The plan is to bring it to my grandmother’s tonight for my family to enjoy for dessert.  We’re going to have an early dinner, followed by some fun at Tilden Park.

Gia is going to ride the steam trains and look at all of the Christmas lights and decorations this evening.  It should be fun!  I’m looking forward to taking her somewhere that I went as a child.

I hope everyone’s having a great holiday season so far!  For those wanting these recipes, here you go:

Healthy Gingerbread Muffins

Ingredients

  • 1.5 cups of whole wheat flour
  • 1 tsp. baking soda
  • 1.5 tsp. cinnamon
  • 3/4 tsp. ground ginger
  • 1/4 tsp. ground cloves
  • 1/4 tsp. salt
  • 3 tbsp. coconut oil (melted & cooled to warm)
  • 1/4 cup maple syrup
  • 1/4 cup blackstrap molasses
  • 1 egg @ room temp
  • 1 tsp. vanilla
  • 1/3 cup plain non-fat Greek yogurt
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk (I used whole milk for Gia)
  • coarse sugar for sprinkling (optional)

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Preparation

  • Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees, line muffin tins.
  • In a large bowl whisk flour, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, cloves & salt.  Set aside.
  • In a separate bowl, add coconut oil, maple syrup, molasses, egg, yogurt and milk. Whisk until smooth.  Add dry ingredients, mix until well combined.
  • Pour batter in muffin liners, filling halfway, sprinkle with coarse sugar.
  • Bake 18-22 minutes. (Makes 12 muffins.)

Jenna Beaugh’s Gingerbread

According to Jenna, this recipe is from her great grandmother.  The original recipe is from the 1930s, so Jenna updated it with a couple of tweaks.  I’m sitting here letting mine cool and it smells fantastic!  Click here to get the full recipe.

Happy baking!

xo

7 Easy Ways To Pay It Forward This Holiday Season

AshleyLeave a comment

It’s so easy to become wrapped up in ourselves this time of year, with all of the presents to buy, parties to attend and preparations to be made.  Wow, I’m totally guilty of being very self-centered lately.  With my broken ankle still on the mend, continuously trying to get our house organized from our move and our toddler, lovingly known as hurricane Gia, I just haven’t thought much about anything besides myself and my family.

I’m starting to take action so I can pay it forward for the holidays, instead of focusing on me, me, me.  I don’t want excuses thwarting me from helping another, so this is where my little pay it forward project comes in.

Today Gia and I ran a couple of errands before her nap.  Our first stop took us to Target, which was bustling all before 9:30 a.m.  We made the rounds for a few essentials and that’s when I got the idea to create a goodie box for our UPS, FedEx and USPS delivery people.  I cannot take full credit for this idea, but I definitely put my own spin on it.

I used an old box from our move and wrapped it in festive paper, filled it with Gatorade, trail mix, protein bars and other snacks, and attached a little note expressing gratitude for the hard work of delivering packages during the exhausting and lengthy holiday season.

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After feeling proud about my mini project, I thought about additional ways that I could continue to spread some holiday cheer.  Some of the things I came up with I’ve done in the past and some are new to me.  I thought I’d share with all of you in case you’d like to keep passing on good karma.

Here are 7 ways you can pay it forward with me:

  1. Donate your time to new or exhausted parents.  My sister-in-law, Michelle inspired this one.  Michelle, her husband Jeremy, and newly crowned big bro, Jarren, just welcomed baby Jack to the family in November.  If I could offer my time to her for free babysitting, I would!  (She’s in San Diego, so logistically I can’t.)  If you know a parent or parents who could use an hour to themselves then help them out.  Bring your own kids along as playmates and helpers.  Imagine being a new parent and having the chance to get out for a few hours to do a little (peaceful) Christmas shopping, have a coffee break, or simply take a shower!  This basic act of kindness means so much to parents who desperately need a break.
  2. Be kind to someone you dislike.  Children are always watching and listening, and this I know because Gia repeats every word I say these days.  Thankfully she is always hugging and kissing her friends, family, stuffed toys and even photographs.  (I must be doing one thing right!)
  3. Be a store angel.  Leave 10 (or any other desired amount of) $1 bills in random places in the local store.  If you’re feeling extra kind, leave a little bit more for tax.  😉  Imagine how happy the single mom or dad shopping for their kids will be — or the child who wants a toy but mommy and daddy are hesitant to buy it because of the tight budget they’re maintaining.  It sounds like so little, but it makes such a HUGE difference in the lives of others who really need it.
  4. Leave a homemade treat with a kind note for your mail person in the mailbox.  These men and women are always providing us with such a thankless service every single day, regardless of weather conditions, traffic and more.  Let them know you appreciate what they do for you.
  5. Visit those who are lonely.  Some of the best gifts are not “things.”  A cheery visit to someone who lives alone may be just the nourishment they need.  Visit a neighbor or family member.  Save artwork made by your child to take as a small gift to brighten their day.
  6. Remember the “unsung heroes.”  Our local police officers and firefighters serve us everyday.  Bake goodies for their departments and fire houses, or buy their coffee when you see them in line at the cafe.  Do something to show that you recognize and appreciate all of their hard work.  After all, they are the ones who run straight to the danger that the rest of us run away from.
  7. Adopt a soldier.  Adopt-A-US Soldier is a non-profit organization that seeks volunteers to help show the brave men and women fighting for our freedom that their sacrifices will not go unnoticed. It connects supportive civilians with deployed troops and offers a channel by which to communicate encouragement and express gratitude to those brave men and women serving in the United States Armed Forces.  I’ve adopted a few soldiers over the years and it was a great experience.  We regularly wrote letters to one another and I sent much needed care packages filled with reminders of home and other necessities.

I know it’s not possible for everyone to do all, a few, or even one of these, but please, give what you can.  Your gifts to others do not need to be elaborate, or expensive.  You can have a charitable heart even if you don’t have a lot yourself.

I hope I’ve encouraged a few people to pay it forward for the holidays.  We should all be thankful for what we have and not focus on what we think we don’t have enough of.  As long as we have our health, a warm home and love in our hearts, then that will be enough.

Family Friendly Finds

Ashley2 Comments

The last two weeks I’ve felt a little bit less inspired when it comes to writing blog posts.  A lot of that is a direct result of not getting out much, due to my broken ankle.  I’m only on week two of wearing my hard cast, with two more to go before I hopefully will be in a walking boot.

The good news is that we are officially living in our new house now, but I still am very reliant on Craig and my family for help.  Being that Friday through Sunday are Craig’s work days, we decided it was best for Gia and I to stay at my mom and dad’s while Craig works his 12 hour shifts.

I’m able to put pressure on my ankle more and more, and I’m using one crutch instead of two, fairly regularly.  Yesterday I did get a little overly excited when I realized I could take a few very hobbled, unassisted steps.  I certainly paid for that afterwards – by the end of the night I felt like my ankle was swelling and had caught fire inside my cast!  Now I know to not push too hard and take the help I’m being offered.  Duh, Ashley!

All this sitting has led to some online shopping.  Uh oh, yes, online shopping can be very dangerous, but I promise everything I’ve picked out is super functional and will make for great Christmas gifts!  So here I am, ready to share some of my finds with you, because they are especially nice for families with children.

Find #1:

Guidecraft Kitchen Helper

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I’ve been meaning to order one of these kitchen helpers for Gia for quite some time now.  I’m big on letting her do a lot on her own and I think it’s really catapulted her development.  She loves doing everything that we do, so we like to encourage her and include her by cooking together, letting her help feed the dog, letting her throw things away, etc.

I like this Kitchen Helper because it folds up nicely, it’s sturdy and it can grow with Gia as she gets older.  It can hold up to 125lbs!  Crazy!  It has fun little cut outs and a marker/chalk board on the side too.

I didn’t buy ours through the Guidecraft website, only because I found it on Amazon where it was a better price.  I believe that some Target stores carry the Kitchen Helpers too.  There are many varieties and brands available, so what works for Gia may or may not work for your child too.

Find #2:

Restoration Hardware Luxe Faux Fur Bean Bag

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As if you needed a reason to purchase such a plush, cozy bean bag – I knew this one was a no brainer!  With a multitude of colors, these bean bags are the ultimate childhood dream turned adult reality!

This purchase was for me, as much as it was for Gia.  Although she already has a bean bag chair with an adorable star print and custom embroidery, I knew she’d love to sit on this in the family room.  As of late, she has enjoyed sitting like a big girl on our furniture.  Again – she wants to do everything just like us, so there’s no surprise there.

We decided to go with the “Wolf” faux fur, as it fit our color scheme best.  I even got my mom to order the “Sable” version for her house.  The best part about these bean bags is that they’re on SALE!  Even better yet, I’m a member with RH and I got a fab deal!

These bean bags normally retail for $249 and the sale price is $199.  If you’re a member you can score one now for $159!  That’s a $90 savings!  Go get one now!

Find #3:

ECR4 Kids Bentwood Multipurpose Table

 

A kids table and chair set was another thing I’d been searching for the last few months for Gia.  I had a few in mind and truly just stumbled upon this one while searching Amazon.  Yep, Amazon does it again!

This ECR4 Bentwood Table sold me right away with its multipurpose functionality.  There is such an added value in it because it can be used in a variety of ways.  This table and chair set is significantly more expensive on the ECR4kids website than it is on Amazon.  That is also probably the reason why it is currently out of stock on Amazon.  I believe I saw this set on the ECR4 website for $220 and I ordered it on Amazon for $161.40.  Go me!

Regardless of it being out of stock, I will be notified of when it’s available to ship and won’t be charged until that time.  I don’t care if I have to wait a little while, I think it’s worth getting the one I want for Gia.  I see lots of crayon coloring, snacking and reading happening at this table set in the future.

Hopefully if you’re in the market for any of these items you’ll consider the ones above.  I think they’re going to work great for our family.  I guess you know you love being a parent when you enjoy finding things for your child more than finding things for yourself!

xo

 

It Takes A Village

Ashley2 Comments

Since breaking my ankle last week I have never been more appreciative of the help from my family. It’s moments like this where I feel so lucky to live so close to my parents and in-laws. 

Normally, on weekends when Craig is working graveyard, I get my one-on-one time with Gia. We go to the park, run errands and play. Now that I’m helpless with Gia, I’m totally reliant on Craig and our family. 

This past weekend was the first small challenge we had to sort out because of my broken ankle. Prior to getting injured, my mom had planned to drive down to Orange County to help my brother. He has two herniated discs, and after lots of physical therapy and pain, he needed to get an epidural to help him. (We sound like a bunch of gimps in this family!) Zach certainly needed my mom there, as he wouldn’t be able to drive after the procedure. 

With Craig at work Friday-Monday morning, my mom gone, and me being useless, it was my mother-in-law, Gail, who came to my rescue with Gia. 

My biggest worry this weekend was, how am I going to watch Gia? I can’t even change her diaper with this cast and pain, let alone chase her and prepare her food! Craig obviously couldn’t help me when he was home from work because he had to sleep during the day. Our solution was that Gia would have a weekend sleepover with Nana and she would come hang out with me during the afternoon when Craig was up and getting ready to head back to work.

Only Homie is enjoying the fact that I can’t do much:

 

This weekend everything worked out great! What was especially nice about Gail and Harry watching Gia was that they got to have the whole weekend to share with her. In a way, it was good timing because they are heading to a wedding this week and then going straight to see my sister-in-law, Michelle, afterwards. Michelle is due with my second nephew on the 17th – so Gia got to have fun with Nana and Papa before they go to meet their new grandbaby. 

Picture of Gia helping Nana in the kitchen:


 I have to say, this whole ankle ordeal has given my anxiety a major boost. I have endless guilt that I’m not able to do much of anything for Gia, except let her sit on my lap. I am always asking everyone who is helping me with Gia, “Is that okay? Are you sure?” Not to mention the endless amount of  times I’ve said, “I’m sorry.”

I hate that people have to wait on me and that I’m not able to care for my own child without help right now. I know this is all temporary and that it’s just the way things have to go right now – I don’t have much of a choice!

I’m looking at this whole thing as a mental challenge for myself. It’s just another test that has been thrown my way. As always, this will teach me something new, making me a better mother, wife and daughter. 

Photo of G looking too cool during her weekend with Nana & Papa: