Tag: fitness

The Skin I’m In: Thoughts About Body Image During Pregnancy & Beyond

Ashley3 Comments

Some mornings I stand in the buff and look at my pregnant body with so much admiration. I’m creating another life and my body knows exactly how to do it. Organs, little ears and tiny limbs are all being made by me – and I guess my husband helped a little too. 😉

Then there are mornings that turn into entire days where I look at myself in the harshest light. Yes, I know I’m pregnant and yes, I know my body is not mine right now, but I still feel bad about it. I feel horrible even writing that, because it doesn’t reflect how excited I am to have another child. I feel guilt just thinking that!

Obviously pregnancy stimulates a wide range of feelings about the body. Those who have been pregnant and are pregnant know exactly what I mean. Our culture, especially among certain social classes, makes no secret of how very important it is that women “get their bodies back” instantaneously. Too little attention is paid to why our bodies morph the way they do during pregnancy. We hold onto the baby weight for a reason, because it serves both the baby and mother.

Body shame in our world today is prolific and it leaves women (pregnant or not) feeling stymied. Pregnancy can be especially disorienting in so many ways. I for one, have felt an immense amount of anxiety and at times, depression about how I’m coping with my growing pregnant body.

After receiving a heartfelt and thoughtful DM from a childhood friend this morning, I felt inspired to write on this topic. My friend is pregnant with her first child and is feeling a lot of the things I felt while pregnant with Gia and how I feel now.

The other day my friend who DM’d me posted a photo to her Instagram page. The photo was a shot of her and her beautiful growing bump. She told me that when she was posting the picture she was so scared of what people would think about how she looked. She also went on to say how awful she felt for feeling that way because she was doing something amazing, growing her baby.

Like me, my friend has maintained a healthy routine through her pregnancy by working out, eating healthfully, while still allowing herself a splurge sometimes. Balance right?? Regardless of her efforts and mine to treat our bodies with kindness during this time, we have both beat ourselves up over our weight gain.

After messaging her back, we were both in agreement that we are doing the right thing for ourselves and our growing babes, but regardless of all that, our bodies are going to do what they’re going to do. For my friend that means more weight in her lower half than she’s used to or prefers. For me, that means having a cup size to rival any Victoria’s Secret hottie, as well as a growing lower half.

If I’m being honest, this picture makes me look smaller than I think I really look.  Again, I was also hesitant in even sharing this photo.  These pants are doing their damnedest to keep my bulging body parts in, but this is my version of six months pregnant.

We are all different people and all have different pregnancies. Sometimes it’s hard for me to not look at other pregnant women and be envious of their seemingly perfect bumpin’ belly and looking so petite everywhere else. I need to remind myself that those women and myself are totally different. I am a six foot tall athlete. I have been athletic my entire life. I’m going to look very different than a woman who is 5’4 and who has never played collegiate sports.

This weekend I even found myself comparing my six months pregnant body to a petite woman who was 15 months postpartum. How ridiculous is that?! First of all, I’M PREGNANT. Second, I was almost a foot taller than her with a totally different body type.

I really had to reel my thoughts back in this weekend. I also am constantly reminding myself that being pregnant is hard in so many ways. I’ve had an especially challenging time navigating my thoughts on body image through my last pregnancy and this one. I’ve mentioned briefly in a previous post that I did have an eating disorder towards the end of college.  I was in the thick of under eating and over exercising.  Because of all that, my last year I was unable to continue to play softball due to so much weight loss.  Everything important to me, including my identity, was taken away so abruptly. (At some point I’ll share the full story about this, but that’s a post for another day!)

I am fully recovered from that dark time in my life, but it’s a constant battle to silence the negative and disordered thinking that I practiced for so long. I know that it will be something I need to be mindful of for my whole life, and that’s especially true right now, even while pregnant.

I think what I really want to say is we all have a struggle. Many times that struggle is silent and we feel very alone. This post proves that I’m not alone in my complicated feelings about my pregnant body, and neither is the friend who reached out to me. We both worked hard for our healthy pre-pregnancy bodies and we will both work hard to have healthy postpartum bodies.

We all need to give ourselves some grace and remember we have one body. Be kind to it, fuel it properly, appreciate all that it is capable of and be grateful.

After having Gia I’ve realized that life just goes by faster with each passing year. I can’t get hung up on putting pressure on myself to lose baby weight from this second pregnancy by a certain time. I should be more concerned with maintaining my good health to raise equally as healthy daughters, who I hope will one day love their bodies unconditionally. Like I’ve always said, God has given me girls so I never slip back into disordered eating and so I can teach them how their bodies are strong and perfect exactly how they are.

My tips to anyone who is struggling with body image during pregnancy:

Acknowledging You’re Body is Being Borrowed – Your body is in a major transformation process. Perhaps the negative feelings you have about your pregnant body may be about something other than the actual body surface, or in addition to it. Investigate your feelings and acknowledge them. Remember pregnancy is not permanent and is such a small blip of time in your whole life. Try and look at the good during this time.

Notice Self Talk And Feedback From Others – Comparison is the thief of joy and shame based internal chatter is a recipe for unhappiness. There will always be unsolicited comments about your pregnant state. Try just accept the comment and not think too far into it. Opinions from others about your bump are truly irrelevant, unless coming from your doctor. Keep doing YOU and say “screw those people!” (And I say that in the nicest possible way! Lol!)

Acceptance – Acceptance, especially body acceptance, during a time where you’re scared that your body will forever be enlarged is tough. Here’s what I’ve realized through both of my pregnancies….worrying does not modify what may or may not happen to my body through these wondrous months. Preoccupation with my body has never brought anything fruitful and steals joy from the present moment. It’s not fair to me or my family. Keep your eye on the prize – that end result, your baby!

Focus On Being A Role Model – Being gentle on myself as I navigate body image concerns serves as an ideal template for me to parent from. I don’t want Gia and her little sister to ever treat their bodies the way I have treated mine. I’ve been cruel to myself in the past and don’t want to teach that. As I journey through motherhood, modeling what it means to be a strong woman is what’s most important.

This little girl and her growing sister are the ones that I do all of this for.  They make me stronger, happy and oh so proud.  Little eyes are always watching.

And that’s all I’ve got! I think this post serves me more than others. It’s something I should reference back to when I’m feeling not so great about myself. I need to practice what I preach, and by writing it for all of you to read I’m holding myself responsible for following through with my words.

Hopefully someone who reads this can relate in some way. Remember we are all made perfectly the way we are and that’s what’s truly beautiful.

Xo

Mommy Has An Owie 

AshleyLeave a comment

Two days ago Craig and I loaded up Gia’s beautiful round crib and glider to bring over to the new house. These were the last “big” items that we needed to get in the house before we could officially start living there. 

As beautiful as Gia’s crib is, it’s a pain in the neck because it doesn’t breakdown at all. Almost every normal size doorway does not allow it to pass through, which spells out problems. We had to remove a small piece of wood from the doorway to get it into her new room, just as we had to do at the old house when we first got the crib. 

With the glider and crib being the final big pieces to move in, we decided to start off with the easier of the two and get the glider in first.  Craig was holding one end and I had the other – he was going into the house backwards with it so I didn’t have to. Once we got from the bottom of the driveway up to the walkway things went south. 

While holding the glider and not seeing where the walkway curved, I rolled my ankle off the walkway and into the grass. I immediately screamed out and collapsed to the ground. I’d like to think I’m pretty tough and tolerant of pain – after all, I made it through all natural childbirth of an 8lb. 15oz. baby in 30 minutes. (Yes, I’m proud of that!) Even though I’m tough, the loud snap that Craig and I heard confirmed in my mind, along with the pain, that I definitely had a broken ankle. Even the neighbors came running down the street to see if I was okay. 

Picture of me smiling through the pain:


Low and behold, after a trip to the ER, the doctor came in to give me the bad news. Yep. Broken. The absolute worst part about all of this is being completely useless with Gia. I’m pretty much bed ridden all day because I need to keep my ankle elevated. Anytime I get up I feel like my ankle is about to explode.  Things could have been worse though, so I’m thankful. 

Dr. G is taking good care of me:


I head back to the doctor on Tuesday for the real cast. The one I have is temporary because the swelling needs to go down and the doctor needs to make sure everything is aligned properly. 

I’m not sure how long I’ll be in a cast, or how long I’ll be using crutches. The other upsetting part about all of this is no working out. You never appreciate your health and mobility more than when you’re out for the count. 

Speaking of health – I found out that the blood I donated a few weeks ago went to use at a hospital in West Covina, CA. It’s pretty cool that I was able to find out where it went and that it helped someone in need. That’s just another reminder as to why this broken ankle is just a bump in the road. Life is still good!

Self Care Is Not Pampering!

Ashley6 Comments

When I talk about self care, I feel like many people tend to think I mean pampering.  They couldn’t be more wrong!  While pampering does fall under the self care category, not all self care is pampering.  You still with me?  To me, self care is being your own best advocate, setting boundaries, making time for hobbies – it’s simply creating time for what you need and doing what you can to make it happen.

That last part is key – doing what you can to make it happen.  Today I did a bit of self care and I’m so glad I took a small part of my day to make myself a priority.  It’s too easy in life (especially when you have the demands of family, children, a career and everything in between) to forget about what you need to do for yourself so you can thrive.  I tell myself when I’m feeling unnecessary mom guilt that if I don’t take good care of myself, I cannot take the best care of my daughter and family.  Additionally, I want to lead Gia by example and let her know that it’s important to be good to your mind, body and soul.

Forms of self care that I’m working on:

  • Unplug – Yes, I’m telling you to put the iPhone down!  It’s not that easy to do, especially with social media, e-mails, phone calls, face time sessions, etc.  I feel a sense of freedom when I take a break from my electronics, as hard as it may be in the moment.
  • Practice Meditation – Okay, this one I’m really, really bad at.  For the last few years my New Year’s Resolution has been to practice more yoga.  Want to know how much yoga I’ve done in the last few years? — that’s right, NONE!  Wait, I take that back.  I did go to a wine and yoga retreat a couple of months back with girlfriends.  Does that count for a mini meditation?  My point here is, it’s good to practice something that makes you feel that mind-body connection.  For me, I think yoga will make me more mindful and relaxed, so I’m holding myself accountable by talking about it here.  Minimally, I’d like to at least do some deep breathing and stretching once a day.  Hopefully you guys can keep tabs on me and make sure I follow through!

Photo Of The Last Time I Did Yoga:

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  • Sleep – You’d think sleep would be an easy one after chasing a busy toddler all day long.  Not so much!  I’m someone who suffers from pretty bad anxiety and have had a history of depression, which, unfortunately does not make for a sound night’s sleep.  Just because I have anxiety and have had depression do NOT mean that I don’t love my life and appreciate it.  It’s the perfectionist in me that puts me on planet crazy and keeps me from sweet dreams.

Gia Demonstrating What I Need To Get Better At:

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  • Talk To Someone – Psychologists, therapists and spiritual mentors can make some people feel a little bit uneasy, I get that.  I’m not into all that stuff either, but I see the benefit of it.  For months I’ve been putting myself on the back burner regarding my anxiety and today I finally said, enough.  As uncomfortable as it can be to talk to a total stranger about your deepest thoughts, it’s such a release.  Today that’s exactly what I did – I went and talked to a psychologist about my feelings of anxiety and feel so much better.  It doesn’t mean that all of my “problems” are gone, but it’s a big step in the right direction.  I have to say I’m kind of proud of myself!  🙂

Forms of self care that I rock at:

  • Energize Your Body – I do something to “move” every single day.  It’s not selfish, it’s good for me and good for Gia.  I go to the gym to train five days per week.  Obviously when things come up or if Gia doesn’t feel like playing in the child care for an hour then I reevaluate.  The days I don’t get a traditional workout in, I take Gia on a walk or we go on an adventure.  It makes me feel so much more awake and alive for the entire day.
  • Take A Bath Or Shower – This one sounds a little, well, gross.  You don’t always get to shower when you want to after having a child.  Sometimes you’re too damn tired and other times you literally cannot.  Maybe that’s TMI, but it’s the truth!  I make sure to use my favorite body wash and skin care products when I get cleaned up.  It makes me feel beautiful and refreshed to smell so nice and have hydrated, happy skin.

Even Our Dog Homie Needs Some Self Care:

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  • Read Something, Anything! – I’m a big book worm and I read anything I can get my hands on.  Lately my reading has been in the form of other blogs that motivate me to be the best version of myself.  I try and set aside time to read when Gia is down for a nap or after she’s gone to bed.  It’s the perfect way for me to wind down.
  • Enjoy A Piece of Chocolate, Or Glass Of Wine – Better yet, enjoy the chocolate and wine together!  I used to fret over anything “bad” that went into my body.  No more!  If your body wants a little treat, then by all means, eat the chocolate and drink the wine!  The gym and your regularly scheduled eating routine will be there tomorrow.  You won’t fall off track – it might even help you stay on track by not depriving yourself of what you want!

Gia says it’s okay to get chocolate wasted once in a while:

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I hope you guys can relate to some of that!  How do you self care?  I’d love to hear how others take care of their mind, body and soul.  Comment and let me know!

Nothing Great Happens Inside Your Comfort Zone

AshleyLeave a comment

Fitness is a huge factor in my life and helps me remember to really love myself.  Raise your hand if you are a woman, with kids, or without, who forgets to show yourself some love every now and then!  I’m pretty sure any woman reading this should be raising their hand, even if it’s only halfway up!

I try my best to workout at least five days a week, but sometimes with a toddler things don’t always go to plan.  If I had it my way each morning, I’d have my favorite breakfast around 8:30 a.m. – ENDORPHINS!  Don’t worry, I’d closely follow that with a real breakfast of scrambled eggs, with some avocado and a coffee the size of a big gulp!

There are definitely some days where I just can’t get out of the house quick enough to make the gym thing happen the way I’d like it to.  I remind myself that I live in a far from perfect world and if I don’t get to train the way I’d like that day, a little bit of training is better than none at all.

My mentality regarding how long I should be working out and what kinds of workouts I should be doing shifted a lot after giving birth to Gia.  Before our little firecracker arrived, I could literally go to the gym every single day, almost whenever I wanted.  After Gia’s arrival, that obviously changed and workouts needed to be efficient and intense, especially because I wanted my sense of fitness back.

Photo of Gia getting ready to leave the gym with me:

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I worked out everyday during my pregnancy and even went to the gym the day I delivered.  I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t scared of losing my fitness after becoming a mom.  I remember a week or so after Gia was born I thought to myself that I would literally never be in shape again and I’d just have to accept that this was the new me.  (There was NOTHING wrong with the new me because every postpartum body is beautiful!)

Now I realize that I don’t need to associate fear with negativity, because nothing great happens inside of your comfort zone.  Part of my old comfort zone was having the ability to workout for over an hour, if I wanted to, and just take my time in the gym.  Nowadays my workouts are no more than an hour, and some days they are even shorter.  I make the most of my time spent in the gym, because when you have mom guilt and lots of baby clothes to fold at home you get in and get out!

On the days where Gia and I get out of the house slower than usual, or if she has slept a little later, I have one workout that’s my go-to.  It’s quick and effective, gets my blood pumping and makes me sweat.

Disclaimer:  I’ll do my best to explain this to you without the use of photos — I’ll be sure to update this post with some photos/video for those of you who aren’t sure of certain movements I’m describing.  (I’m definitely not claiming I’m a fitness expert, I just know what I like and what works for my body after being an athlete my whole life.)

Ashley’s Favorite Workout When Pressed For Time

This entire workout should be repeated 3 times.  

Equipment needed: Jumprope, box steps (like those used in a step class – should be 3 levels high), kettlebell (I use a 30lb kettlebell), floor mat or yoga mat and a jump rope.  I also recommend downloading the Tabata Pro app (it’s free!) to keep track of your time and how many rounds you’ve completed.

This is what the box step looks like, except it should be three high, not two:

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Picture of the image you should see in the App Store when searching for Tabata Pro:

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  • 2 minutes of jumping rope
  • Touchdowns – 1 minute, no stopping. (Stand on step, jump off into a straddle and prepare to squat down over the step and  jump back onto the step.  Should be done quickly with full range of motion, while alternating which hand touches the step.)
  • 30 seconds rest
  • Speed skaters – 1 minute, no stopping. (Stand with left foot on step and right foot on the ground.  “Speed skate” to opposite side of step, now with right foot on step and left foot on the ground.  Continue quickly alternating back and forth in skating motion.)
  • 30 seconds rest
  • Step overs – 1 minute per leg, no stopping. (Stand with left foot on step and take right foot behind your left side, over the step and tap the ground.  Continue by bring right foot back to starting side to tap and continue sequence.  Aim for 30 step overs for each leg.)
  • 30 seconds rest
  • Burpee box jump – 1 minute, no stopping. (Stand with step facing in front of you in a horizontal position.  Perform a normal burpee but with hands on the step instead of on the ground.  Once standing after completing the burpee, jump onto the step and repeat.)
  • 30 seconds rest
  • Alternating toe taps – 1 minute, no stopping.  (Lay on mat with feet in the air so you are in an L position.  Alternate reaching for your toes engaging your core and slightly lifting shoulders off of the ground.)
  • 30 seconds rest
  • Kettlebell swings – 1 minute, no stopping (Perform traditional crossfit style kettlebell swings, aiming for 20-25 reps.)

I’m sure that sounds a bit confusing without an example to look at, but like I said, I will work on posting that for you.  I can only accomplish so much in a day while in the process of moving and keeping a tiny human alive!

If you’re feeling a little frisky, or need an extra warm up to this workout, you can always start off with a 1-mile run for time before doing your Tabata style workout.  I do that on the days I’m not as rushed at the gym.  Your legs should feel like jell-o afterwards.  If not, you’re doing something wrong!  (This workout was adapted from a trainer of mine, Tony Quartini.  He is awesome and so funny!)

Let me know if you would like to see more workouts posted in the future (with videos/photos), and I’d be happy to oblige!

Fit happens one day at a time, so don’t beat yourself up….especially if you’ve recently given birth!!  🙂

Fantastic Favorites

AshleyLeave a comment

So….I woke up this morning in complete shock – I slept until 7:45 a.m.!!!  That does not happen, like ever!!  I couldn’t even tell you the last time I slept that late, even before Gia came around!

I was kind of excited that I had slept that late, but then I was kind of annoyed because I had already wasted a good chunk of my morning.  Regardless of that, I guess my body was letting me know I needed the rest.  When I woke up, Gia was playing quietly in her crib, happy as a clam.  She must have known mama needed the rest too.  🙂

After hitting the gym with my girl, while Craig was at a training for work, I put Gia down to snooze and got to thinking about some of my favorite things.  Let’s be real, I have a lot of favorites when it comes to many different categories, and they are ever-changing.  I always enjoy hearing about favorites and suggestions from others, so I thought it’d be a nice thing for me to share with all of you.

As you may have seen earlier on my Instagram, I was making a quick and easy frittata with Gia.  It’s one of my favorites for breakfast, or in today’s case, it was lunch.  I thought I’d share this recipe with you, along with my favorite cookbooks of the moment, as well as a few of my favorite gifting items.

Favorite Cookbooks of the Moment:

“Eating Purely” – by Elizabeth Stein

This cookbook is awesome because it keeps things super simple.  Cooking certainly doesn’t have to be rocket science, and this book shows that.  It has more than 100 all-natural, organic, gluten-free recipes for an overall healthy life.

I don’t eat a strictly gluten-free diet, but I will definitely make things that require you to use gluten-free ingredients.  I don’t discriminate!

The recipes are pretty fun and approachable, ranging from brunch and salads to vegetarian mains.  (Craig and I enjoy being carnivores, but it speaks volumes that he will eat anything lacking meat that I make from this book.)

Here’s a look at the frittata I made this afternoon from “Eating Purely:”

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“The Seasoned Life” – by Ayesha Curry

I can’t be the only person who is loves the Curry family, can I?!  I love Ayesha’s cookbook because it comes from her roots and everything is super easy to pull off!  I’m sensing a theme here, aren’t you?….nowadays I need quick, easy, nutrient rich and delicious!  Ain’t nobody got time for anything other than that!

There’s something about a good meatloaf that makes me feel like I’m eating at grandma’s, and Ayesha’s is one even grandma would approve of.  I remember when I was newly pregnant with Gia, meatloaf was my first craving!

I also love this cookbook simply because Ayesha Curry is just like any other mom out there.  I know, I know – I don’t even know her, but I did have the pleasure of meeting her and her husband, Steph, when I was still working.  I want to support this mama because she is following her dream, as we all should!

“The Big Book of Organic Baby Food” – by Stephanie Middleberg MS, RD, CDN

Giving your baby solids for the first time is a pretty exciting milestone.  (At least it was for me!)  The first thing we gave Gia was green beans and she didn’t exactly love them.  My thought process with solid food was that I should give her veggies and not-so-sweet foods first.  It’s a given that a baby will like bananas.  It’s like dessert for them!

This book was great for me when I was in a food rut with Gia.  I was adamant about making all of her food and wanted to make sure she was only getting the best and healthiest kinds of food.  My favorite thing about this cookbook is that the food progresses with your baby.  As your child gets older, the food is a different variety, with different textures and recipes.

Now, I am less anal about the things that she eats.  I don’t let myself get upset if she will only eat yogurt all day, or skips a serving of milk.  I can’t sweat the small stuff and I know she is growing and developing properly because of what I feed her and how I care for her.

Here is photo evidence of Gia’s first encounter with green beans:

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Favorites for Gift-Giving Right Now:

Venus Et Fleur

Elegant luxury is the best way I can describe what you get from Venus Et Fleur.  It delivers the romantic tradition of sending flowers, but with exceptionally stylish design.  To be honest, I don’t really recall how I stumbled upon this company, but I recently sent a Le Petite box of champagne colored roses to one of my best friends for her 30th birthday.

I have to admit they are a bit of a splurge, but well worth it indeed!  What makes these flowers so unique, yet also pricey, is that they are real roses that can last for up to a year, if cared for properly.  I know some of you are calling BS right now, but if you go look at their website and read about their “eternity roses” you will see what I mean.

This is the type of gift that is best suited for someone who appreciates a meticulous, hand-crafted floral design.

This is the exact Venus Et Fleur arrangement I sent my girlfriend, Catherine:

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Glassybaby

Glassybaby is a glass blowing studio that sells unique, handmade candle votives and drinkers.  It’s a Seattle based company that has multiple locations, with Berkeley being the closest to me here in the Bay Area.

I heard about Glassybaby a few years ago from my dad.  Yes, believe it or not my dad is very up on what’s cool.  He regularly reads his magazines, like GQ and Esquire, and should probably be at New York Fashion Week right now.  (He’s a tough guy but likes to look good.  He was a model when he was my age, but that’s neither here nor there!)

My dad bought a variety of Glassybaby drinkers as a Mother’s Day gift for my mom a while back.  I looked into the company after he bought them and found out they hosted glass blowing parties as well.  I had my 29th birthday celebration there last year and it was a blast!

I love giving the votives and drinkers as gifts because they have any and every color/hue that you can imagine.  What makes them really special is that they all have a specific name.  For example, I got a good friend of mine a votive a few months ago that was a gradient silver color.  It was called “Silver Lining.”  She was going through a tough time and I wanted her to have a little pick-me-up.

I enjoy giving gifts from Glassybaby because they can have deeper meaning, depending on the occasion.

Here’s is a picture of me at my birthday party with a bada** glassblower who helped me craft my own beautiful bowl:

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Stargazer Barn

I cannot talk about Stargazer Barn enough!  Yes, this is another floral arrangement type of company, but their blooms are show stopping!

I first heard about Stargazer Barn through an old friend and colleague, who happens to be a very successful blogger – Kristy Wicks.  (If you don’t already follow her on Instagram, go ahead and do it now, thank me later.)  She partnered with Stargazer Barn and I decided to see what they were all about after hearing her rave about them.

The blooms that they grow are definitely flowers for flower lovers, if you know what I mean.  Stargazer Barn grows tulips, lilies and irises.  Farming is hard work and these people work tirelessly to ensure that the flowers you send/receive are enchanting.  They offer actual varieties of tulips, instead of “red tulips” or “white tulips.”  The same goes for for their lilies.

Anything you order from Stargazer Barn would stand out in a crowded marketplace.  If you know a flower connoisseur, I recommend sending them some of these beauties right away!

Here a few shots of flowers I have sent to friends:

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I could keep this favorites variety list going and going, but I’ll save some for another day. I also want to share some of my favorite baby products/toys because no mom and dad should be missing out on some of the things I’ve come across.

Also, I have a long list of fitness related products that I can’t live without, so that will be coming soon too.  And of course, you can always count on an eventual post about my favorite places to dine, sip and hang!

I hope you take my advice and look into some of the things I’ve mentioned.  The gifts will not disappoint and neither will the recipes from the cookbooks!

Until next time my friends!

xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shrinking Attention Spans

AshleyLeave a comment

It’s been brought to my attention by my brother, Zach, that people have the attention span of goldfish and I should have more photos on the blog. (Goldfish have an attention span of 9 seconds, while the average American has an attention span of 8 – yes, I looked it up.)  I’m in complete agreement and love that someone gave me some constructive feedback!

The real reason why I didn’t put any photos in previous posts was because I was a bit overzealous about getting this whole thing started.  I thought that trying to find the right photos to enhance my story-telling would slow me down.  I understand that I’m going to have to take the time to add this type of content to keep the attention of all these goldfish – not everyone enjoys such a text heavy blog.

With my brother’s advice in mind, I got to thinking about what photos I do have and what kind of post I could create with them.  Of course I immediately thought of Gia and being a mom.  I don’t have any shortage of photos when it comes to that kid.  If I’m not mistaken, I think I have over 4,000 photos and videos on my iPhone and the vast majority are of her sweet little mug.  Prior to Gia’s big arrival last year, many of my photos were of the dog and my growing pregnant belly.

I know other mom’s and parents out there have phones filled with photos of their child/children doing anything and everything.  I feel like I have to document it all – even if that means I’ve become a mamarazzi.  I’ll wear that title with pride until the day I die!

I’d like to think that there’s lots of people out there reading this, but if I’m being honest, I know that it’s likely just my close friends and definitely my mom!  For those of you reading who I don’t know personally, let me introduce you to my little family through photo…..

The number one person in my life – my daughter, Gialina:IMG_8113

This picture of Gia and I was taken at a great little restaurant in Berkeley, CA, called Riva Cucina.  It was my family’s first time here and it won’t be our last.  The staff was so friendly and accommodating, and of course the food was delish!  I recommend getting their Antipasto Misto as a starter!

This is my hunky husband.  I couldn’t ask for a better partner and father to my daughter. Meet Craig:

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To date, this is my favorite picture of Craig and Gia.  We were getting a frozen yogurt and trying to stay cool during a heat wave.  As you can see, Gia did not want to give up the spoon.

These two are the people I look up to most, my parents.  I always want their approval and to make them proud.  Meet Rick & Sherri:

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Let me tell you about the restaurant that this photo was taken at….When Gia was 10 months old we took a road trip to visit my brother down in Southern California.  He had been wanting to take us here for ages.  It did not disappoint!!  The restaurant is called Farmhouse and it was fantastic.  They didn’t miss a thing when it came to the food!  They even have blankets placed on every chair, as it’s an outdoor dining experience only.  Before eating here I highly suggest visiting the on site gardens.  Check out their website to see what I’m talking about – Farmhouse at Roger’s Gardens.

Last but not least, on to my younger, better looking brother.  He’s the most compassionate, creative and all around awesome person I know.  Meet Zach:

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This photo of Zach and Gia cracks me up every time!  It was taken at Gia’s baptism, which also happened to land on my first Mother’s Day.  Being the good brother that he is, Zach flew in from SoCal to be there.  I think Gia is trying to show Zach how to give a proper “blue steel” pose.

Sidenote:  Zach is an über talented graphic design guy.  I suggest that you go follow his work on Instagram at @zachnichdesigns.

There, now you have some faces to go with the names that I will bring up on my blog quite often.  After all, without these people I wouldn’t be who I am today!

 

 

Social Media Sharing

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I hate the feeling that I need to endorse the things that I’ve decided to share through social media, more specifically, Instagram.  I think that it’s a somewhat normal feeling for someone living in a social media obsessed world.

I must admit…Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat have me in a very love-hate relationship.  I genuinely like these platforms for the simple fact that I can connect with friends and family that I don’t get to see on a regular basis.  I’ve been able to use Instagram and Facebook to connect with people I otherwise thought I would never see again.  I think it’s awesome!

For example, last week I was able to connect with a friend from high school who I haven’t seen since graduation day!  Now that Instagram has a story feature, I am guilty of posting a lot of videos of my daughter, Gia.  The cool thing is, old friends feel comfortable enough to comment on these videos, which leads to a conversation and reconnection, just like it did for me last week.

I was able to meet up with my said friend from high school to have some much needed mommy talk, as well as meet her darling son.  Not to mention, this was an especially cool reconnection because she now lives in Europe with her husband and baby boy.  This probably never would have happened if it weren’t for social media.

So, that’s the “love” part of my love-hate relationship with social media.  On to the “hate” part…..

I do not enjoy that when I hit the post button I wonder if anyone will like what I’ve shared.  Again, I think this is a common thought amongst many people using these platforms, but I still hate it!  I hate that Facebook and Instagram encourage a kind of hierarchy over how many likes a photo, video or post will get.  I thought popularity contests were over after high school!  I hate that some people judge who you are based on how many likes your latest Instagram post gets.  You should be judging me based on my character and my intellect!  Why do I even care?!  Why does it even matter?!  Do you want the short answer to that?  I don’t care.  It doesn’t matter.

I do have to convince myself at times that I don’t care, or that it really doesn’t matter.  One thing is certain though – I definitely care less and these things matter less because I have a greater purpose in life now.  I am a mother.  I want to teach my daughter that her self worth is not based on how many likes a photo gets.  I want her confidence to come from within.  This is why I am putting myself out there more.  This is why I am writing this blog.

Yesterday I did something that was WAYYY out of my comfort zone.  I posted an Instagram story of me talking directly to whoever decided to view it.  Terrifying right?!  I told my husband that I’d be upstairs attempting to record this story, then he gave me a silly smile and said, “good luck.”

I must have recorded it three times over!  I didn’t record it that many times because I thought I looked and sounded ridiculous.  I wanted to keep some authenticity to it by being myself – hair in a frizzy bun, Lulu Lemon uniform on.  I recorded it more than once because I realized that I didn’t know what I wanted to say.  On the third attempt, it just finally came out with a somewhat natural flow.

The hardest part was rewatching it.  I found myself cringing, doling out all kinds of awful criticism and negative self talk.  I realized that as I was thinking those things about myself that I needed to just stop.  Get over it!  What I was doing to myself was everything I do not want Gia doing to herself as she grows up.  I reminded myself that trying something new like this is going to be far from comfortable, but that’s how I’m going to grow and learn.

So, as awful as social media can be, it can also be something really great.  Yesterday I didn’t let myself delete what I posted.  The longer I kept my posted story up, the more I didn’t care about what others thought of it, or how many people had viewed it.  As corny as it sounds, I felt empowered and excited!

I give so much credit to people who blog for a living and are successful with it.  I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with all of the thoughts I dealt with yesterday, but on a much greater level.  Even though there are plenty of bloggers and social media fixtures out there who have an impressive and loyal following, there are still the haters and bullies trying to cut them down.

No matter who likes, or doesn’t like what you do, keep going.  This is me doing just that!  I know it’s only the beginning, so talk to me in a couple of months and let’s see where I’m at!

Move It, Or Lose It

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It’s hard for me to believe that Craig and I moved into our home 2+ years ago.  Before living in the house we own, we were renting a three story town house on the waterfront where we live.  I have to say, we loved that place!  It was so great because it was within walking distance to just about everything – restaurants, the local wine bar, the grocery store, parks and our gym.

After living in our town house, we knew eventually we wanted a home with a yard for our dog.  We also realized that three flights of stairs weren’t the best for a couple who knew that they would one day be adding to the family.  It was time to look for our first house!

We had a lot of support from our family during the house hunting process.  Buying a home, especially for the first time, is extremely stressful.  I found myself constantly wondering if we were doing the right thing by looking to buy at that time, which was 2015.  The housing market can be such a gamble, and I am by no means fluent in that area!

Some good fortune came upon us at the end of July, 2015, but we had our fair share of bad luck before that.  Craig and I had put several offers on homes in the town we grew up in, only to be outbid.  Our spirits weren’t as high as we wanted them to be, but after hearing a few stories from our friends and the experiences they had buying for the first time, we knew that we had to be patient.  A family friend of ours had told us they put 22 offers on houses before one was finally accepted.  That’s California for ya! Crazy, right?

During this whole process, we had become slightly obsessed with browsing the likes of Zillow and other similar websites.  One evening, as we were laying on the couch and glued to our phones searching these sites, we stumbled upon a beautiful home that seemed perfect for us.  Craig and I knew that if we wanted a chance at getting this home, we would have to act fast.

The following day we went to an open house for the property, but it wasn’t your typical open house…..the home owners were present.  At first I thought that was a bit odd, but it ended up helping us, not hurting us.

As you know, I’ve said I’m very close to my family, so it only made sense that Craig and I bring my parents and his parents to this open house.  Their opinions mean a lot to us and we wanted them to be included in this process.

You can probably sense where this is going…..yes, we fell in love with the house; yes, we put an offer on it; yes, WE GOT IT!  The couple who owned the home before Craig and I were moving to Lake Tahoe and wanted another family to live here who would appreciate the home as much as they did.  We came to find out that the wife taught Craig’s older sister, Michelle, in high school.  Not only that, the husband knew my dad’s high school football coach, a man who my dad really respected.

It was these little connections that really helped us stand out to the homeowners, and ultimately it helped them decide to sell the home to us.  We drafted a nice letter to them as well (icing on the cake), telling them that we wanted to start our family in this home.

Two years later, I’m sitting here in my first home, that I’m about to move out of, typing this post.  We kept our promise to the couple who lived here many years before us, and we started our family in this home.  This was not only my first home, but the home that we brought our sweet Gia to after leaving the hospital when she was born.

A big part of me is sad that we are selling our house because we started our little family here.  An even bigger part of me is excited to be selling it.  It means that we need more space for more fun and eventually, another child.

Although I’m not ready to have another baby just yet, the thought of it is wonderful.  Before we continue adding to the family we need to find our next house, which has proven harder than finding our first!  In the mean time, my awesome parents are letting us stay with them until we find our perfect next home.

There is a lot of uncertainty in the air, since we have no idea when we will find the right house, but I feel extremely fortunate to be in this situation.  We wouldn’t be able to do what we are doing without the love and support from my parents and my in-laws.  They are always willing to help us, whether that means watching Gia for a couple of hours, getting us boxes, or sending us new listings to look at.

Family really is everything, and without ours, Craig, Gia and I wouldn’t be the people we are today.  We are so excited, and a tad scared to embark on this next chapter.  I’m mostly scared of tackling the situation in our garage before we move.

Stay tuned, and keep your fingers crossed while we continue our house hunt!

Let’s Try This Blogging Thing Again

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In this day and age it seems as though everyone is self proclaimed model, or a blogger.  Since I can’t cut it is a model,  I’ll go ahead and jump on with the rest of the bloggers out there.

I’ve always toyed with the idea of sharing my thoughts, likes/dislikes and passions with others through these great blogging platforms that are out there now.  I’ll admit, I’ve attempted to start a blog a time or two already and have fallen off the horse.  I think the main reason why I haven’t stuck with it is my fear of being judged by the outside world, or worse….by my friends and family.

Now I’m finally at the point in my life where I feel sure of myself on most days, and I’m pretty confident in my own skin.  A lot of that has to do with the little girl I give birth to last year.  She makes me want to be the best version of myself.

Being a mom has given me the courage to look within and ask the tough questions.  Over the past year and a half I’ve dealt with anxiety, stress, happiness and an overwhelming amount of love.  I realize I’m not the first mom to be saying these things, but this is the first time I’m talking about it with others.

My hope for starting to write again and share my thoughts is that others feel brave enough to take on something that they were scared to pursue – a big career move, a new workout, a recipe….you name it.  I also would love to think that other people like me will enjoy reading about my everyday adventures as a young mother navigating my way through parenthood, while trying to maintain my sense of self.

Here’s to the beginning!  There couldn’t be a better time than now.