Tag: mommy

It Takes A Village

Ashley2 Comments

Since breaking my ankle last week I have never been more appreciative of the help from my family. It’s moments like this where I feel so lucky to live so close to my parents and in-laws. 

Normally, on weekends when Craig is working graveyard, I get my one-on-one time with Gia. We go to the park, run errands and play. Now that I’m helpless with Gia, I’m totally reliant on Craig and our family. 

This past weekend was the first small challenge we had to sort out because of my broken ankle. Prior to getting injured, my mom had planned to drive down to Orange County to help my brother. He has two herniated discs, and after lots of physical therapy and pain, he needed to get an epidural to help him. (We sound like a bunch of gimps in this family!) Zach certainly needed my mom there, as he wouldn’t be able to drive after the procedure. 

With Craig at work Friday-Monday morning, my mom gone, and me being useless, it was my mother-in-law, Gail, who came to my rescue with Gia. 

My biggest worry this weekend was, how am I going to watch Gia? I can’t even change her diaper with this cast and pain, let alone chase her and prepare her food! Craig obviously couldn’t help me when he was home from work because he had to sleep during the day. Our solution was that Gia would have a weekend sleepover with Nana and she would come hang out with me during the afternoon when Craig was up and getting ready to head back to work.

Only Homie is enjoying the fact that I can’t do much:

 

This weekend everything worked out great! What was especially nice about Gail and Harry watching Gia was that they got to have the whole weekend to share with her. In a way, it was good timing because they are heading to a wedding this week and then going straight to see my sister-in-law, Michelle, afterwards. Michelle is due with my second nephew on the 17th – so Gia got to have fun with Nana and Papa before they go to meet their new grandbaby. 

Picture of Gia helping Nana in the kitchen:


 I have to say, this whole ankle ordeal has given my anxiety a major boost. I have endless guilt that I’m not able to do much of anything for Gia, except let her sit on my lap. I am always asking everyone who is helping me with Gia, “Is that okay? Are you sure?” Not to mention the endless amount of  times I’ve said, “I’m sorry.”

I hate that people have to wait on me and that I’m not able to care for my own child without help right now. I know this is all temporary and that it’s just the way things have to go right now – I don’t have much of a choice!

I’m looking at this whole thing as a mental challenge for myself. It’s just another test that has been thrown my way. As always, this will teach me something new, making me a better mother, wife and daughter. 

Photo of G looking too cool during her weekend with Nana & Papa:

Mommy Has An Owie 

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Two days ago Craig and I loaded up Gia’s beautiful round crib and glider to bring over to the new house. These were the last “big” items that we needed to get in the house before we could officially start living there. 

As beautiful as Gia’s crib is, it’s a pain in the neck because it doesn’t breakdown at all. Almost every normal size doorway does not allow it to pass through, which spells out problems. We had to remove a small piece of wood from the doorway to get it into her new room, just as we had to do at the old house when we first got the crib. 

With the glider and crib being the final big pieces to move in, we decided to start off with the easier of the two and get the glider in first.  Craig was holding one end and I had the other – he was going into the house backwards with it so I didn’t have to. Once we got from the bottom of the driveway up to the walkway things went south. 

While holding the glider and not seeing where the walkway curved, I rolled my ankle off the walkway and into the grass. I immediately screamed out and collapsed to the ground. I’d like to think I’m pretty tough and tolerant of pain – after all, I made it through all natural childbirth of an 8lb. 15oz. baby in 30 minutes. (Yes, I’m proud of that!) Even though I’m tough, the loud snap that Craig and I heard confirmed in my mind, along with the pain, that I definitely had a broken ankle. Even the neighbors came running down the street to see if I was okay. 

Picture of me smiling through the pain:


Low and behold, after a trip to the ER, the doctor came in to give me the bad news. Yep. Broken. The absolute worst part about all of this is being completely useless with Gia. I’m pretty much bed ridden all day because I need to keep my ankle elevated. Anytime I get up I feel like my ankle is about to explode.  Things could have been worse though, so I’m thankful. 

Dr. G is taking good care of me:


I head back to the doctor on Tuesday for the real cast. The one I have is temporary because the swelling needs to go down and the doctor needs to make sure everything is aligned properly. 

I’m not sure how long I’ll be in a cast, or how long I’ll be using crutches. The other upsetting part about all of this is no working out. You never appreciate your health and mobility more than when you’re out for the count. 

Speaking of health – I found out that the blood I donated a few weeks ago went to use at a hospital in West Covina, CA. It’s pretty cool that I was able to find out where it went and that it helped someone in need. That’s just another reminder as to why this broken ankle is just a bump in the road. Life is still good!

When Tragedy Strikes

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To my horror, this morning I, as well as countless others, woke up to news of the unfathomable tragedy in Las Vegas.  I picked up my phone upon waking and immediately saw news alert after news alert.  With each update, I saw that the death toll and injuries from this absolutely heinous act were climbing and climbing.  I couldn’t help but cry.  I’m so very saddened and shocked that this is the world we live in today.

I texted a friend who lives in Southern California, for I knew she had been in Vegas over the weekend, and I held my breath until I received a text back stating that she was okay.  After texting her, I remembered seeing via social media that a girl I had grown up with was also there with a friend of hers.  I messaged them as well – they were safe yet shook up.  I can’t even imagine.

I also cannot begin to imagine the pain, anger, sadness and grief that families are feeling right now.  Households that were once whole are now forever broken.  (I understand that this is not the only horrific event to happen as of late, but I feel compelled to share my thoughts and feelings.  I want everyone reading this to know that they should not politicize my words.  This is just me being human and feeling a wide range of emotions.)

So many lives are forever changed after what occurred last night in Las Vegas – people are without their parents, children, brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances.  It makes me feel sick thinking that these poor people didn’t know what to do when they heard gun shots raining down on them for over 72 minutes.

Based on the news reports, it was utter chaos at the concert venue where people were trying to escape.  I cannot go without saying that there were many first responders at that Jason Aldean show, as off-duty concert goers.  I believe that those first responders made a huge impact last night in saving lives, in obvious addition to those on-duty.  Police, fire and EMS ran towards the danger while everyone was trying to get away.  The help and bravery of the first responders demonstrates true heroism.  If it weren’t for these people, who knows how many more lives may have been lost.

It’s awful that it takes the worst in humanity to bring out the best in people, but this is something that I think of on a daily basis.  Many of you know that I come from a first responder family and some of you might just be learning that now.

My grandfather was a firefighter who passed away in the line of duty, due to asbestos and smoke exposure – his death was the precedent setting case for the State of California for firefighters who lost their lives on the job.  He is forever immortalized on the wall at the Firefighters Memorial in Sacramento.

My brother-in-law is also a firefighter, as well as some of our very close friends.

My dad was a police officer for his entire career, working in a very busy city.  My father-in-law worked side-by-side with my dad for the same department.  Now my husband is also a police officer.  I hesitate in even mentioning this here because I know that there is so much tension around law enforcement in this day and age.

I was finally able to grasp the true meaning of what it is to be a first responder when I was the one sending them to calls for help.  There was a period before my husband became an officer where I was a 911 dispatcher.  I always knew growing up that my dad had a dangerous job, but I never thought about it much beyond that.  After being the person talking to the officers through their earpiece, I was able to grasp just exactly what my dad and father-in-law did every single day.  Now my husband does it and I have another unique perspective about the job because I am a police wife.

My everything in one photo:

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As I was waking up this morning, my husband, Craig, was coming home from work to sleep.  I asked him if he had heard about what happened in Las Vegas as I got a teary eyed.  I knew full well that he was aware of what had happened, since he had been up and working all night.  I told him that this is the kind of thing that I’m so very afraid of.  Call it tragedy, call it terrorism, or call it whatever you want – all of it is disgusting.

Now that I’m a mother to a beautiful little girl, I am so scared of the world we live in.  I might think a little bit differently than others, but I am always preparing for the worst.  For example, my parents, Gia and I went to San Francisco for the day over the weekend.  On our car ride there I told my parents how that I think completely differently about the world now that Gia is around.  (This is totally normal to a certain degree, but I think I take it up a notch.)  Just driving on the Bay Bridge into the city made me think about how it could be a prime target for an attack.  Then I thought about how we were going to the Ferry Building on the Embarcadero and how that is another potential target for a mass shooting or bombing.

Photo of my dad, Gia and I at the Ferry Building over the weekend:

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I know I cannot live my life in fear, but I am always on alert when I am alone with Gia.  Often I think of how I cannot let anything happen to me because I can’t leave her without her mother.  I’m so protective when we’re together and would jump in front of a moving train if it meant that she would be safe.  I know this is the feeling that many (hopefully all) parents have when it comes to keeping their kids safe.  It’s sad that I have to think about this on a such realistic level now.

I’ve only been to the movie theater one, maybe twice, in the last year, but even that experience has forever changed.  I think hard about where I should sit in case there is a deranged person who wants to harm everyone in the theater.  It’s just really very frightening that my mind even goes there.

I’m kind of starting to ramble on now, so I’ll wrap this up.  What I’m getting at is that there are people out there who go directly towards danger every single day.  They don’t think twice about it.  That is pretty amazing.  My hope is that you can walk up to someone wearing a badge and say “thank you.”  It doesn’t matter if it’s a police badge, a firefighter badge, a military badge, or an EMS badge – just thank them for what they do on a daily basis while we live our lives.  Many are quick to bash our first responders, but remember, they are the ones you call when you need help.

I know thoughts and prayers are never enough when tragedy strikes, but I offer them anyway.  My warmest condolences go out to everyone connected to the violence in Las Vegas.

Las Vegas is in desperate need for blood donations.  Here is a list of locations where you can donate if you live in Nevada:

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Self Care Is Not Pampering!

Ashley6 Comments

When I talk about self care, I feel like many people tend to think I mean pampering.  They couldn’t be more wrong!  While pampering does fall under the self care category, not all self care is pampering.  You still with me?  To me, self care is being your own best advocate, setting boundaries, making time for hobbies – it’s simply creating time for what you need and doing what you can to make it happen.

That last part is key – doing what you can to make it happen.  Today I did a bit of self care and I’m so glad I took a small part of my day to make myself a priority.  It’s too easy in life (especially when you have the demands of family, children, a career and everything in between) to forget about what you need to do for yourself so you can thrive.  I tell myself when I’m feeling unnecessary mom guilt that if I don’t take good care of myself, I cannot take the best care of my daughter and family.  Additionally, I want to lead Gia by example and let her know that it’s important to be good to your mind, body and soul.

Forms of self care that I’m working on:

  • Unplug – Yes, I’m telling you to put the iPhone down!  It’s not that easy to do, especially with social media, e-mails, phone calls, face time sessions, etc.  I feel a sense of freedom when I take a break from my electronics, as hard as it may be in the moment.
  • Practice Meditation – Okay, this one I’m really, really bad at.  For the last few years my New Year’s Resolution has been to practice more yoga.  Want to know how much yoga I’ve done in the last few years? — that’s right, NONE!  Wait, I take that back.  I did go to a wine and yoga retreat a couple of months back with girlfriends.  Does that count for a mini meditation?  My point here is, it’s good to practice something that makes you feel that mind-body connection.  For me, I think yoga will make me more mindful and relaxed, so I’m holding myself accountable by talking about it here.  Minimally, I’d like to at least do some deep breathing and stretching once a day.  Hopefully you guys can keep tabs on me and make sure I follow through!

Photo Of The Last Time I Did Yoga:

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  • Sleep – You’d think sleep would be an easy one after chasing a busy toddler all day long.  Not so much!  I’m someone who suffers from pretty bad anxiety and have had a history of depression, which, unfortunately does not make for a sound night’s sleep.  Just because I have anxiety and have had depression do NOT mean that I don’t love my life and appreciate it.  It’s the perfectionist in me that puts me on planet crazy and keeps me from sweet dreams.

Gia Demonstrating What I Need To Get Better At:

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  • Talk To Someone – Psychologists, therapists and spiritual mentors can make some people feel a little bit uneasy, I get that.  I’m not into all that stuff either, but I see the benefit of it.  For months I’ve been putting myself on the back burner regarding my anxiety and today I finally said, enough.  As uncomfortable as it can be to talk to a total stranger about your deepest thoughts, it’s such a release.  Today that’s exactly what I did – I went and talked to a psychologist about my feelings of anxiety and feel so much better.  It doesn’t mean that all of my “problems” are gone, but it’s a big step in the right direction.  I have to say I’m kind of proud of myself!  🙂

Forms of self care that I rock at:

  • Energize Your Body – I do something to “move” every single day.  It’s not selfish, it’s good for me and good for Gia.  I go to the gym to train five days per week.  Obviously when things come up or if Gia doesn’t feel like playing in the child care for an hour then I reevaluate.  The days I don’t get a traditional workout in, I take Gia on a walk or we go on an adventure.  It makes me feel so much more awake and alive for the entire day.
  • Take A Bath Or Shower – This one sounds a little, well, gross.  You don’t always get to shower when you want to after having a child.  Sometimes you’re too damn tired and other times you literally cannot.  Maybe that’s TMI, but it’s the truth!  I make sure to use my favorite body wash and skin care products when I get cleaned up.  It makes me feel beautiful and refreshed to smell so nice and have hydrated, happy skin.

Even Our Dog Homie Needs Some Self Care:

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  • Read Something, Anything! – I’m a big book worm and I read anything I can get my hands on.  Lately my reading has been in the form of other blogs that motivate me to be the best version of myself.  I try and set aside time to read when Gia is down for a nap or after she’s gone to bed.  It’s the perfect way for me to wind down.
  • Enjoy A Piece of Chocolate, Or Glass Of Wine – Better yet, enjoy the chocolate and wine together!  I used to fret over anything “bad” that went into my body.  No more!  If your body wants a little treat, then by all means, eat the chocolate and drink the wine!  The gym and your regularly scheduled eating routine will be there tomorrow.  You won’t fall off track – it might even help you stay on track by not depriving yourself of what you want!

Gia says it’s okay to get chocolate wasted once in a while:

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I hope you guys can relate to some of that!  How do you self care?  I’d love to hear how others take care of their mind, body and soul.  Comment and let me know!