Tag: social media

What’s Your “Why?”

AshleyLeave a comment

Last Wednesday, during a walk, I listened to my second podcast ever. Yep, I’m late to the party. The only other podcast I’ve ever had the chance to listen to was Serial, which I highly recommend if you’re a fan of podcasts. Serial and the podcast I stumbled upon are completely different. The podcast I found talks mostly about motherhood, parenthood and all of the relationships that come with those roles. (I’m having a mental block on the name right now, but I’ll post it here at a later time!)

If I’m being honest, it felt so good to listen to because I felt like I was “hanging” out with someone like me, someone who understands the phase of life I’m currently engulfed in. Plus, it was just nice to hear adult voices instead of “baby shark radio,” although, admittedly, I love baby shark.

The podcast got my wheels turning and made me think in ways that I haven’t lately. It made me give real thought as to why I share on social media. Why do I share my kids (many people look down on parents who post photos of their kids), why do I share my ups and my downs, etc.?

Basically, what is my “why” for social media? Well, it’s a little bit of a long winded answer. Social media, especially Instagram and my blog is a platform for my tiny voice to be encouraging to others. It’s where I can express my creativity through writing or photography, since my normal daily life doesn’t allow for other forms of creativity and expression.

It’s also an escape. I know many people use social media as an escape. You can mindlessly scroll and checkout for a bit, or it can make you feel more connected to the outside world when you’re a stay at home mom, like me. For me, when using social media I feel more seen and known, but not in a way where I need attention or validation. I feel seen because I’m home alone much of the time. It’s my way of communicating and connecting with adults when I can’t do it physically. Does that make sense?

My value and worth are by no means measured through social media, comments, likes or followers. When people start to feel a hunger for validation through social media I think it’s time to pause, take a step back, and take a break from it to be loved by the “real” people in your life. I’ve done this on occasion and it’s a nice way to detox when you get caught up in scrolling for the wrong reasons.

I share the things I do because I have a genuine desire to. The things I share have meaning to me, and the Ashley you see on social media is the same Ashley you’ll see in real life.

Xo

A Different Kind Of Mom Bod

Ashley4 Comments

I’m supposed to say, I love my body. I made little humans. I really like the cellulite that showed up on my butt. Aren’t these the things I’m supposed to believe with all of the body positivity, motherhood vibes and girl power that I champion??

Postpartum feelings are confusing and after both of my pregnancies I haven’t felt how I thought I would. For the last three years or so I’ve given my body away in a pretty substantial way, by going through two pregnancies in a relatively short period of time. Truth be told, I still give my body away every single day. I nurse my almost three week old, I hoist my two year old into the car, I schlep the dog up the stairs, I wipe dirty little faces and I pick up an endless array of toys.

It might sound selfish (and it feels selfish) that I want my old body back. I know what you’re thinking – you’re thinking, “Ashley, you’re not even three weeks postpartum. Let yourself heal. Give it time. It took months to make those beautiful babies, so allow yourself to take the time to get back to where you were.” I get it. I agree, but it’s not that easy.

Seeing your postpartum body for the first time can be a pretty big shock. It’s hard (and amazing) for any woman to see such a huge transformation. Being that I recently shared with all of you that I had history with an eating disorder, it feels even harder seeing this change in my body, especially for the second time.

The good thing is that I’ve been through this all once before and I know what my body is capable of. I know I will lose the baby weight, regain my strength and feel like some semblance of myself again. I just hate the waiting game. It’s uncomfortable, but life can be uncomfortable.

While I was pregnant with Gialina I worked out 5-6 days per week, ate a balanced diet and treated myself when it felt right. With Viviana I did the same routine. The only difference that I can think of is that with Gia I stuck with more cardio based workouts, and with Vivi I continued my weight training with my cardio.

I gained 43 pounds with Gia and 40 with Vivi. The only reason I tell you this is because I’m a firm believer that your body is programmed to gain a certain amount of weight while pregnant, regardless of what you do. I did everything “right” through both of my pregnancies, yet I still beat myself up for not gaining the recommended 25-35 pounds.

Obviously those numbers can’t apply to everyone. The woman who is 5’2″ will very likely gain differently than the woman who is 6’0″. We aren’t the same and neither are any of our pregnancies.

Trust the process. This is my own reminder to myself to do just that. Sometimes when you put things out in the universe (like sharing vulnerabilities) good things happen. Healing happens. Support is given. People feel less alone. That’s my intention here. I’m reminding myself that I will get where I want to be soon and if you’re in a similar season in your life, you will too.

I’m sure you may have heard the saying, “people only show their highlight reel” through social media outlets. A friend of mine reminded me of this the other day, and it’s so true. Of course we are all quick to share the great things in our lives, but I find it just as important to share our bumps in the road or messy moments. We are all so much more alike than we realize. The moment we stop pretending that we are better than one another or comparing our highlight reels, is the moment we will all feel more connected.

 This is about my entire self, about all the parts of me – more than just getting my body back. It’s about the parts that existed before two little people filled my arms and my heart, and the parts that will continue to exist long after those people have fully grown.

Share your experiences – good and maybe not so good. I having a sneaking suspicion that someone else will reach out in appreciation, creating a ripple effect. Pass on kindness, pay it forward and if comfortable, share your truth.

Xo

More Than A Wannabe

Ashley2 Comments

Everyone is a blogger these days. Whether you’re a journalism student hunting for a platform (I was one!), a makeup lover with on fleek contouring skills, or just a “normal” person like me who enjoys posting about your real life, anyone can be a blogger.

Ask any truly successful blogger or influencer and I’m sure they’ll tell you the struggle is real. Not everyone has ideas for blog posts just flooding their brains, let alone coming up with enticing blog post titles to catch the attention of a follower. Hell, this rings true for me and I just do this stuff for myself, not a big audience. I guess it’s kind of like my journal and I’m hoping I grow by sharing it with others, whether they care about the content or not.

Even though I’m just a sometimes blogger whose following is mostly family that I’ve bribed into reading along, part of me still would love to somehow make this hobby a job.

Yeah, I’m not organized like these Instagram influencers and fashion bloggers who post daily, but I’m passionate about trying to show others that we are all more alike than we may know. I might not have the photoshop skills for this, let alone a fancy camera…..hello iPhone! But, I’ve got gusto and I think I’m a decent storyteller, writer and I’m a realist. (Did I just compliment myself? Go me!)

At the beginning of this blogging rendezvous there may have been a time or two where I’ve wondered why I’m not famous and getting freebies in the mail. I’m sure I’ve also pissed people off, or at the very least, annoyed people with things I’ve written. I’ve gotta share posts to put myself out there, so my skin has gotten thicker.

I’ve thought about trying to add more glamour to my everyday life, but again, let’s keep it real. Most days are spent bare-faced with day 3 (or was it 4) hair and chasing my firecracker toddler. I’m no Julia Engel, Rachel Parcell, or LaTisha Springer – not even close when it comes to the blogging world. (Ladies, go follow them!)

What I do have that these other bloggers don’t have is an innate drive to share real life moments (good and bad), to try and not be so filtered, and to write thoughtful posts that allow me to remain totally true to myself.

I may never have a following and I definitely don’t have the aesthetically pleasing Instagram feed that these other bloggers do. I may always struggle with the tone of my blog, for fear of others thinking I’m an over-emotional wacko. My main reasons for writing and sharing the things I do is to sort my own thoughts out, to learn from my own mistakes, and to share my limited, yet still valuable life experience as a young mom.

I feel funny saying, “I’m a blogger,” but isn’t that what I am? I have this blogging platform that I contribute to on an almost regular basis, so I’m no wannabe. I’m going to own it from here on out, whether I get sent goodies from companies or not. I’m having a good time doing what I’m doing. That’s what this whole thing should be about anyway!

Putting my thoughts and opinions out there has been hard at times, but it’s teaching me to continue to focus on what’s important in my own life. Plus, challenging myself mentally like this is good for my emotional health!

Go ahead and put yourself out there! Own your truth, whatever it may be. Things might feel uncomfortable, but the growing you’ll do afterwards is so worth it.

Xo

My Week Long Social Media Detox

AshleyLeave a comment

I’m pretty sure that from the beginning, technology was meant to serve us in a positive way. Social media is supposed to make our lives better by allowing us to have more time and connection to others in our already limited schedules. But are the likes of Instagram and Twitter really adding value to our lives?

I will certainly admit that there are times where I feel like a slave to the social media machine. It’s sometimes hard to totally “log off,” especially when our jobs and lives almost require us to be online. I catch myself scrolling through my Instagram sometimes before even hopping out of bed in the morning, and for what?

Of course social media can be a good thing, but even too much of a good thing can be harmful. For this reason, I decided to take a little break from all things social media for one week. Some of you may scoff and say, “One week is nothing!” While that may be true, at least I’ve remained true to my word for the last week by going completely cold turkey. For me, the main culprit of addiction is Instagram. I use Facebook as well, but Instagram is something that I feel more invested in, for whatever reason.

On day 2 of my detox from the online world, I realized just how much I casually visited Instagram. Day 1 was easy to go without, but the second morning I found my fingers twitching to click that little icon on my phone. Thoughtless Instagram scrolling sometimes serves as a little mommy getaway during nap time or when Gia is happily watching an episode of Sesame Street. But what was it that I was really longing for? Nothing on Instagram that I was “missing” was going to change my life, or make it better for that matter.

On Day 6 of my little detox, I realized I wasn’t even thinking about social media. With this newfound sense of “freedom” I found myself using short bursts of time for more useful things than online scrolling. I’m a pretty productive person, but this past week I’ve been more motivated to just get things done. I’m not sure if it has everything to do with not being so online, but I’ll take it.

During the past week I’ve accomplished a lot – Gia’s big girl bed is in her new room, bedding for it has been ordered, I’ve had family over for dinner, I’ve taken family to appointments and planted in the yard, just to name a few. Along with these to-do’s I’ve also felt more mental clarity. I know that sounds a little wacky, but it’s true. No trying to keep up with the Joneses, less feelings of inadequacy and more pride in the things that I have accomplished. If I can attribute these feelings to less social media usage than I may very well make this a regular thing.

We all know that social media sells a false reality, which can be especially toxic for women. We all usually post our best pictures – many times showing us on our latest adventure, silently proclaiming (with or without intention) how great our life is. Herein lies the comparison problem. It’s extremely difficult to remind ourselves that people post what they want others to see. If you say you don’t, you’re probably lying.

When I first looked at my Instagram feed after not seeing it for a week there was a couple things I noticed. I realized that I didn’t miss much of anything and I immediately had a negative thought creep into my head. After seeing a pregnancy Instagram account post a photo of a woman who was 25 weeks pregnant, I found myself comparing my pregnancy size to her. First off, I’m a couple days shy of 23 weeks, and second – it doesn’t matter! Everything I’ve been trying to stop doing the past week came racing back. I’m just pleased I was able to instantly realize how irrational and ridiculous I was being for thinking I should look like that woman.

The thing about comparing our lives to each other through social media is that it’s completely unfair. Nobody’s profile is perfect – it’s all filtered and sterilized! So why do you and I keep feeling a twinge of despair for not having as many likes and followers as the next person? Here’s where I insert a friendly reminder: Comparison is the thief of joy. A flower doesn’t think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms. Lions don’t concern themselves with the opinions of sheep either. Wish I could say I came up with those quotes, but I didn’t. They are just words I try to remember when I catch myself feeling inadequate after looking at the hottest blogger’s Instagram feed, or my mom friend who seems to always have her stuff together.

One of 30 newly planted friends in my front yard – my beautiful hydrangea:

I understand that we live in a day and age where social media is truly a big part of all of our lives. There’s lots of tangible benefits too – keeping us connected with friends and family from all over, and augmenting our social lives, rather than replacing them.

My biggest takeaway from this personal experiment was that there is so much more to life than meets the eye. My perspectives have been shifted and I’ve been reminded of what’s most important in life – our family, health and happiness.

I read an article prior to going offline for the week about a man who takes a month long break from social media every December. I thought this was a really great idea and would be something that I could benefit from. If I implement this same practice the only thing I will miss are sharing photos of my daughter. (Soon I’ll be saying daughters! Crazy!) Other than that, it sounds like I need to pick my month of the year to go on my vacation from the online world.

Have any of you taken a deliberate break from social media before? I’m curious to hear what it did for you. Leave a comment to let me know your thoughts about what the app addiction is doing to our world.

Xo

#MomSoHard

Ashley8 Comments

As parents we try our very best to be the ultimate caretakers, protectors, providers and nurturers, but some days we feel like we just flat out suck. If there’s one thing I know, I am not alone with these feelings.

Becoming a parent has hands down been the greatest thing I’ve ever done, yet it’s also been the absolute hardest. Gialina has the power to melt me or crush me with a single word, look, or gesture. It’s almost as if I’m at the mercy of a tiny dictator….an adorable tiny dictator.

I think about how Craig and I made the decision for me to be a stay-at-home mom and I know it has been the best decision for our family. With that, some days I can’t help but think about the single parents, the working parents and parents of multiple kids who seem to always get everything done, and without complaint.

On my tough days at home with Gia I try and remember parents who have it a lot harder than me (the stay-at-home parent raising three kids under three, the parent who cries when dropping their child off at daycare, and the parent working two jobs who just can’t catch a break). I should be so grateful to stay home and raise my daughter, knowing she’s learning from me. I am grateful of course, but it’s not picture perfect, nor should it be.

Being a mom is hard. I’m alone most of the time and that takes a toll on my mental health. When I say alone, I’m with my daughter, but obviously talking to her is very different than talking to an adult. I sit in my own thoughts and that can have a negative snowball effect on me at times.

It’s easy for me to judge myself and feel guilty about most anything related to parenting. I know many parents feel that same guilt, so I’m not alone, but man….it still feels lonely.

I feel like I didn’t do my best as a mom if I didn’t talk enough to Gia, play enough, take her to the park, etc. These thoughts are completely ridiculous, I know. She gets plenty of stimulation doing the countless things we do at home.

Then there’s that other guilt I get. Guilt from not folding the laundry right away, from not picking up the play room (even though I’ve done it three times already), guilt from not making Craig a lunch for work, etc. After all, my job is to take care of Gia and our family home.

The days I don’t do it all, or don’t feel like doing it all make me feel like I’ve lost. If this is my “job” and what I choose to do then I should be doing better at it, right?! No. I’m doing the best I can, just like everyone else.

Yesterday was a day where I felt like I just couldn’t win. The second Craig walked in the door I felt better because I had my partner in life home. At the same time I was upset that Gia could care less about me because he was home. I’m so glad that she loves both of us so deeply, but I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy. I’m with her all day, everyday, bending over backwards to give her everything she needs. Daddy is gone at work, so of course she misses him. I feel bad for having those feelings, but they’re honest.

Once Craig had changed from work and asked me what he could do to help with dinner, etc. I asked if he wouldn’t mind bathing Gia for me. When I walked down the hall to see how they were doing, any feelings of envy disappeared. Appreciation was what I felt in that moment instead.

Tubby time with daddy:

We are all just trying our best to make it through each day, whether we have kids or not. Don’t judge the mom in the grocery store because her clothes are covered in dog hair and don’t judge the person on BART falling asleep after a long day at work. You don’t know what they might be dealing with in their personal life, or how long they were up with their kids the night before.

Xo

Local Girls Do It Better

Ashley4 Comments

A few posts back, I mentioned that my husband and I are in the selling process with our home and are getting ready to move.  I don’t think that the couple moving in realizes that they’ve hit the neighbor jackpot by purchasing our house!

Our next door neighbors are wonderful people – they grab my packages if I’m out of town, they let me borrow an egg or two when my mom brain neglects to add them to the grocery list, and they keep an eye out for people who don’t belong in the neighborhood.  Pretty much everything you could hope for in a good neighbor.

I’d like to think I, myself, am a good neighbor as well.  Keeping with the theme of being neighborly and kind to one another, I wanted to share some juicy gossip with you about “the girl next door”, her name’s Nicole, for all those wondering.

She is a local boss lady who owns and runs one of the greatest little boutiques to happen to our town – Pink Arrows Boutique.

Cute and oh so soft pullover sold at Pink Arrows:

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If you have spent any time in Benicia, (in my case, the majority of my childhood and now adult life) then you know we have a plethora of hair salons, antique shops and mediocre food.  Now Benicia can not only be known to the world as the state’s third capitol, but the home of Nicole’s Pink Arrows!

Nicole’s boutique is in a quaint location and is as friendly as she is:

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Here’s some Q + A and inside scoop on the owner, Nicole, and her dream, turned reality:

What inspired you to start Pink Arrows Boutique?

My love for fashion was nurtured as a child….and while still in pigtails, my mom taught me how to sew.  Over the next 20 years I graduated from FIDM (Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising) and built an extensive career that included design, merchandising, buying and quality control.  But, my dream was to always open a boutique.

About three years ago, when I was between jobs, I decided it was time, and the idea for my boutique began.

How’d your boutique get it’s name?

The name Pink Arrows balances bold symbols of beauty and strength.  Throughout my life I have admired many women, including my mentors – my mom and grandmother – in their aspirations to successfully combine the two.  My goal is to fill my boutique with modern, yet cozy and bohemian, glamorous clothes and accessories that women will covet.

What do you think makes Pink Arrows special?

My goal is to always look for pieces that have the softest fabrics, the best fit and the most unique graphics.  I have spent a good part of my career in sourcing and quality control, visiting factories overseas, and I have a unique eye for detail.  Sourcing is my passion.  

I love when customers are surprised at the range of sizes and prices that I carry.  I’m not just trying to cater to one age group or one body type.  It’s a good feeling when someone walks in skeptical and leaves having found something they love….and with a smile.

What’s the toughest part about running your own business?

The same challenge every woman feels – there is never enough time in the day for everything!  Trying to balance work, family, friends, etc., there is always a trade off (sometimes it’s sleep).  I truly believe if you are doing what you love, it doesn’t feel like work.  I have had some jobs during my career that were tough to wake up for everyday, where the work environment wasn’t positive, or the commute was CRAZY LONG.  I am super grateful to live in Benicia and work in Benicia.  I get to surround myself with so many amazing people on a daily basis.  

Do you have any future plans for the business?

My goal for the last few years has been to find a location in Benicia for my shop.  Now that I’ve found it, I’m settling in to my new surroundings and constantly trying to improve the space.  I am loving that I accomplished that goal and now I realize I need to set new goals for the future.  For right now, I’m just grateful.

If you could raid one celebrity closet, whose would it be?

That is a tough one!  There are so many great style icons, but if Nicole Richie were my size, she would definitely be my pick.  I love how she mixes bohemian prints in such a fantastic way.  She is fearless and has a confidence that is contagious.  I admire people who take risks with their style and are not afraid of what others will say.

It’s only appropriate that Nicole loves another Nicole’s style:

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I don’t know about you guys, but I love everything that Pink Arrows Boutique is about – from how it got it’s name, to Nicole’s attention to detail!  It’s definitely the kind of place I want to tell my friends about.  I’m also all for a supporting local, especially when the woman who owns and runs the boutique wants to represent women of different sizes and styles.

Life is too short to be tearing others down.  We need to support one another and be happy for the achievements of others.  Get out there and spread the word about Pink Arrows, or better yet, come check it out.

You better believe I picked up something for Gia and myself during our Saturday afternoon downtown stroll….

Picture of the goods that Gia and I scored:

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Pink Arrows Boutique Business Hours:

Currently the shop is still on “summer hours,” and is open Tuesday/Wednesday from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m.; Thursday/Friday from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m., & 4 p.m. until 6 p.m.; Saturday from 11 a.m. until 1 p.m., & 2 p.m. until 4 p.m.  They are closed Sunday and Monday.

You can make an appointment by e-mailing Nicole at nicoley@pinkarrows.com, or calling 844-264-6456.

They will adjust their night time hours to shorter “winter hours” in November.

Pink Arrows Boutique Address:

301 First Street, Benicia, CA 94510 – They are located in the courtyard between Plein Air Gallery and Gallery 621, just past Rookies Bar and Grill.

 

 

Social Media Sharing

AshleyLeave a comment

I hate the feeling that I need to endorse the things that I’ve decided to share through social media, more specifically, Instagram.  I think that it’s a somewhat normal feeling for someone living in a social media obsessed world.

I must admit…Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat have me in a very love-hate relationship.  I genuinely like these platforms for the simple fact that I can connect with friends and family that I don’t get to see on a regular basis.  I’ve been able to use Instagram and Facebook to connect with people I otherwise thought I would never see again.  I think it’s awesome!

For example, last week I was able to connect with a friend from high school who I haven’t seen since graduation day!  Now that Instagram has a story feature, I am guilty of posting a lot of videos of my daughter, Gia.  The cool thing is, old friends feel comfortable enough to comment on these videos, which leads to a conversation and reconnection, just like it did for me last week.

I was able to meet up with my said friend from high school to have some much needed mommy talk, as well as meet her darling son.  Not to mention, this was an especially cool reconnection because she now lives in Europe with her husband and baby boy.  This probably never would have happened if it weren’t for social media.

So, that’s the “love” part of my love-hate relationship with social media.  On to the “hate” part…..

I do not enjoy that when I hit the post button I wonder if anyone will like what I’ve shared.  Again, I think this is a common thought amongst many people using these platforms, but I still hate it!  I hate that Facebook and Instagram encourage a kind of hierarchy over how many likes a photo, video or post will get.  I thought popularity contests were over after high school!  I hate that some people judge who you are based on how many likes your latest Instagram post gets.  You should be judging me based on my character and my intellect!  Why do I even care?!  Why does it even matter?!  Do you want the short answer to that?  I don’t care.  It doesn’t matter.

I do have to convince myself at times that I don’t care, or that it really doesn’t matter.  One thing is certain though – I definitely care less and these things matter less because I have a greater purpose in life now.  I am a mother.  I want to teach my daughter that her self worth is not based on how many likes a photo gets.  I want her confidence to come from within.  This is why I am putting myself out there more.  This is why I am writing this blog.

Yesterday I did something that was WAYYY out of my comfort zone.  I posted an Instagram story of me talking directly to whoever decided to view it.  Terrifying right?!  I told my husband that I’d be upstairs attempting to record this story, then he gave me a silly smile and said, “good luck.”

I must have recorded it three times over!  I didn’t record it that many times because I thought I looked and sounded ridiculous.  I wanted to keep some authenticity to it by being myself – hair in a frizzy bun, Lulu Lemon uniform on.  I recorded it more than once because I realized that I didn’t know what I wanted to say.  On the third attempt, it just finally came out with a somewhat natural flow.

The hardest part was rewatching it.  I found myself cringing, doling out all kinds of awful criticism and negative self talk.  I realized that as I was thinking those things about myself that I needed to just stop.  Get over it!  What I was doing to myself was everything I do not want Gia doing to herself as she grows up.  I reminded myself that trying something new like this is going to be far from comfortable, but that’s how I’m going to grow and learn.

So, as awful as social media can be, it can also be something really great.  Yesterday I didn’t let myself delete what I posted.  The longer I kept my posted story up, the more I didn’t care about what others thought of it, or how many people had viewed it.  As corny as it sounds, I felt empowered and excited!

I give so much credit to people who blog for a living and are successful with it.  I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with all of the thoughts I dealt with yesterday, but on a much greater level.  Even though there are plenty of bloggers and social media fixtures out there who have an impressive and loyal following, there are still the haters and bullies trying to cut them down.

No matter who likes, or doesn’t like what you do, keep going.  This is me doing just that!  I know it’s only the beginning, so talk to me in a couple of months and let’s see where I’m at!

Everyone’s A Critic

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Parenting is not for sissies.  I’m sure the more seasoned parents our there are thinking, “Well, duh!!!”  No matter how many children you have, or how old your children are, it’s not easy hearing others criticize your parenting.  It’s inevitable that people will offer up unsolicited advice and make insensitive comments, even if they don’t have children themselves.

Who’s with me when I say, I just want to tell people I know who don’t have kids that they’ll understand one day when they do?!  I know, I know, I can’t be saying those kinds of things to people, but I sure do think it.  Now that I sound like the insensitive one, I’m curious, what do you do when someone – whether a family member, friend, or total stranger – criticizes your parenting?

I’m obviously not at the point where I’m doling out some tough discipline to a teenager, but I do take Gia to play dates where it becomes apparent to me that not everyone will parent the same way.  And that’s what is great about this world – we are all different, even our parenting styles!

This got me thinking about how often parents endure criticism, and it’s probably on the more often than not side of the spectrum.  I’m of the belief that it is nobody’s business to butt in, and if they do, the comment is likely reflective of their own personal issues and not my parenting.  Either way, I have a hard time biting my tongue when it comes to anything regarding my daughter and the opinions of others.  Maybe it’s the protective mother bear in me, or maybe it’s that I don’t give a sh*t about what others think now that I’m more sure of myself as a person since becoming a mother.

I also realize that comments from very close friends and family usually are coming from a place of love and concern, but that doesn’t make them any less irritating.  Dismissing criticism from friends and family can sometimes be hard, but it’s also a good time to check yourself.  I think I’m a damn good mom and I take any criticism as a learning experience, but that’s hard to remind myself of in the moment.  If I can learn something about my parenting style, how to “improve” it, or if I can learn how to shrug off inappropriate comments, then that’s a win.

I’m always wondering about how others deal with any parenting criticism.  Feel free to comment and share your experiences, or some fun stories about when you may have been overprotective/defensive in your response.

Any tips on how to discipline a toddler are also welcome!  Trying to prepare myself for these things as Gia continues to grow more independent by the second!  It blows my mind that someone who turned one a month ago can already have such an obviously strong personality.  I think I’m in for it during the teen years!

Move It, Or Lose It

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It’s hard for me to believe that Craig and I moved into our home 2+ years ago.  Before living in the house we own, we were renting a three story town house on the waterfront where we live.  I have to say, we loved that place!  It was so great because it was within walking distance to just about everything – restaurants, the local wine bar, the grocery store, parks and our gym.

After living in our town house, we knew eventually we wanted a home with a yard for our dog.  We also realized that three flights of stairs weren’t the best for a couple who knew that they would one day be adding to the family.  It was time to look for our first house!

We had a lot of support from our family during the house hunting process.  Buying a home, especially for the first time, is extremely stressful.  I found myself constantly wondering if we were doing the right thing by looking to buy at that time, which was 2015.  The housing market can be such a gamble, and I am by no means fluent in that area!

Some good fortune came upon us at the end of July, 2015, but we had our fair share of bad luck before that.  Craig and I had put several offers on homes in the town we grew up in, only to be outbid.  Our spirits weren’t as high as we wanted them to be, but after hearing a few stories from our friends and the experiences they had buying for the first time, we knew that we had to be patient.  A family friend of ours had told us they put 22 offers on houses before one was finally accepted.  That’s California for ya! Crazy, right?

During this whole process, we had become slightly obsessed with browsing the likes of Zillow and other similar websites.  One evening, as we were laying on the couch and glued to our phones searching these sites, we stumbled upon a beautiful home that seemed perfect for us.  Craig and I knew that if we wanted a chance at getting this home, we would have to act fast.

The following day we went to an open house for the property, but it wasn’t your typical open house…..the home owners were present.  At first I thought that was a bit odd, but it ended up helping us, not hurting us.

As you know, I’ve said I’m very close to my family, so it only made sense that Craig and I bring my parents and his parents to this open house.  Their opinions mean a lot to us and we wanted them to be included in this process.

You can probably sense where this is going…..yes, we fell in love with the house; yes, we put an offer on it; yes, WE GOT IT!  The couple who owned the home before Craig and I were moving to Lake Tahoe and wanted another family to live here who would appreciate the home as much as they did.  We came to find out that the wife taught Craig’s older sister, Michelle, in high school.  Not only that, the husband knew my dad’s high school football coach, a man who my dad really respected.

It was these little connections that really helped us stand out to the homeowners, and ultimately it helped them decide to sell the home to us.  We drafted a nice letter to them as well (icing on the cake), telling them that we wanted to start our family in this home.

Two years later, I’m sitting here in my first home, that I’m about to move out of, typing this post.  We kept our promise to the couple who lived here many years before us, and we started our family in this home.  This was not only my first home, but the home that we brought our sweet Gia to after leaving the hospital when she was born.

A big part of me is sad that we are selling our house because we started our little family here.  An even bigger part of me is excited to be selling it.  It means that we need more space for more fun and eventually, another child.

Although I’m not ready to have another baby just yet, the thought of it is wonderful.  Before we continue adding to the family we need to find our next house, which has proven harder than finding our first!  In the mean time, my awesome parents are letting us stay with them until we find our perfect next home.

There is a lot of uncertainty in the air, since we have no idea when we will find the right house, but I feel extremely fortunate to be in this situation.  We wouldn’t be able to do what we are doing without the love and support from my parents and my in-laws.  They are always willing to help us, whether that means watching Gia for a couple of hours, getting us boxes, or sending us new listings to look at.

Family really is everything, and without ours, Craig, Gia and I wouldn’t be the people we are today.  We are so excited, and a tad scared to embark on this next chapter.  I’m mostly scared of tackling the situation in our garage before we move.

Stay tuned, and keep your fingers crossed while we continue our house hunt!

Let’s Try This Blogging Thing Again

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In this day and age it seems as though everyone is self proclaimed model, or a blogger.  Since I can’t cut it is a model,  I’ll go ahead and jump on with the rest of the bloggers out there.

I’ve always toyed with the idea of sharing my thoughts, likes/dislikes and passions with others through these great blogging platforms that are out there now.  I’ll admit, I’ve attempted to start a blog a time or two already and have fallen off the horse.  I think the main reason why I haven’t stuck with it is my fear of being judged by the outside world, or worse….by my friends and family.

Now I’m finally at the point in my life where I feel sure of myself on most days, and I’m pretty confident in my own skin.  A lot of that has to do with the little girl I give birth to last year.  She makes me want to be the best version of myself.

Being a mom has given me the courage to look within and ask the tough questions.  Over the past year and a half I’ve dealt with anxiety, stress, happiness and an overwhelming amount of love.  I realize I’m not the first mom to be saying these things, but this is the first time I’m talking about it with others.

My hope for starting to write again and share my thoughts is that others feel brave enough to take on something that they were scared to pursue – a big career move, a new workout, a recipe….you name it.  I also would love to think that other people like me will enjoy reading about my everyday adventures as a young mother navigating my way through parenthood, while trying to maintain my sense of self.

Here’s to the beginning!  There couldn’t be a better time than now.